Archeological Dig

Categories: my history, why am i doing this again?

This weekend, my sweet baby gave up all three days of his beautiful, extended weekend to help me dig through 30 years of rubbish that was piled up in my room. We unearthed everything from song books for kids written in french to journals I wrote in high school; pictures of me getting a perm … Read More

Glitterati

Categories: esteem, excursions, thinking too much, why am i doing this again?, work crap

Okay… so I’m stressing out. Up until this point, I was fine and really, couldn’t care less about the event I’m attending tomorrow. Just looked at it as another one of those kinds of events that calls for me to attend on be half of work. But… I won’t really be working. I’ll be attending. … Read More

NOTHING is real.

Categories: bad day, numb, why am i doing this again?

Not a word anyone says. Nothing that you see or hear or feel… None of it is real. There are always layers and layers and layers of things you don’t see or know about till much later…. sometimes you NEVER find out. And that’s just how life is. Nothing is real. In a city of … Read More

Scales

Categories: esteem, thinking too much, why am i doing this again?

I am sitting here knowing there is sleep to be had and things to be done in the morning. But this almost foreign feeling of loneliness is taking center stage again. It’s been a while since solitude has moved me to write. But here I am, feeling and hearing the vast white noise of my … Read More

Okay… again I say

Categories: what in the entire hayle, why am i doing this again?

BLOGGER SUCKS ASS 🙁 I posted a long wonderful post on here yesterday. The update of all things because I’ve been delinquent. Like… 6 paragraphs. Where is it now??? Blogger ate it. Damn it. I will have to re-tool and post again. But not now… Gotta go out and live more life to talk about… … Read More

I Need a Drink

Categories: bad day, real inspiration, why am i doing this again?, work crap

I didn’t anticipate my day going this way. I thought it would be much smoother, but it was riddled with pseudo-drama and I just wasn’t ready for the stupidity. Getting here this morning at 10 and finding the door to my office being closed still was my FIRST sign of a bad day ensuing. Of … Read More

Old Habits Die Hard

Categories: thinking too much, why am i doing this again?

I can honestly say I don’t know where I picked it up from. This horrid, self mutilating habit. But it’s been with me since I was a little kid and it rears it’s head in my adult life more often than I care to admit. I bite the skin on my thumbs mainly around the … Read More

Bitter

Categories: bad day, friends, growing, why am i doing this again?

FUCK THE MARRIED CLUB. Fuck the married-elitist-“I-have-a-family-and-you-don’t-so-that-makes-us-better” Club. I’m sick of friends marrying off and then shucking off the life they had. Just slithering out of the previous skin and moving on; leaving friends behind because of their status or lack thereof. I have lost SO MANY FRIENDS on account of the fact that they … Read More

Reassess. Reinvent. Rejuvenate

Categories: random musings, why am i doing this again?

This weekend was a beginning of a serious process of including all three of the above. Reassessing what is happening in my life that I like, don’t like, need to include or exclude etc. Reinvent my definitions of those things and how I approach them and then Rejuvenate my efforts at getting things done in … Read More