First Unborn.

Categories: family, mommy in training, my history, recovering, reminiscing

Dear Son, I’m not sure if I’ve done you the proper honor in remembering you the way you deserve. It’s not theoretically hard to do.  I recall everything like it was yesterday.  It’s been emotionally hard to do.   Your memory is that soft spot on the peach… that if you poke too hard, you’ll … Read More


Categories: check in, health, recovering

Not cancer. Granulomatous Mastitis.   I think I’m feeling relief.   There are SO. MANY. OTHER. FEELINGS.  I’m sifting through in the last few days.   But I think relief is in there.   Just wanted to pause and be grateful for God giving me what I prayed for. I gotta turn up the volume on a … Read More


Categories: health, recovering

Originally, E and I took today off to celebrate his birthday.  My plan was to take him around NYC and make him a tourist in his hometown.  Just like he’s always complained that he’d never been.  But a month ago when the MRI results came back begging that the next step be a biopsy of … Read More

The Good with the Bad

Categories: family, future gazing, health, recovering

If nothing else, I’ve totally learned that in life, you MUST be prepared to take these both… as they come. Roll with the punches… and the presents. I’ve had the dark cloud of my daddy’s impending chemotherapy starting next month looming over my head. It’s been tough, because I saw him battle it once (with … Read More


Categories: fear, figuring it out, love & marriage, recovering

I’m beginning to think that when I’m in a state of ruin or hurt, I really don’t see anything else around me too clearly. That somehow, I end up alienating or picking fights with the folks around me. That would be one hell of an admission to make, being that I’m outing myself as having … Read More

On the Eve of Destruction

Categories: recovering, reminiscing, work crap

Here I am. The night before I have to turn my borrowed soul back to those undertakers. And all they’ll do is lock it up and torture me through the bars with me helpless to save myself. I am really bummed about going back to work. Mostly because I was just getting into this very … Read More

Negligence is Bliss

Categories: change, figuring it out, growing, makin moves, recovering

I’ve been so not keeping up with my blog. I’m on vacation in more ways than one. I’m really enjoying these days off. I look in the mirror and feel like I look younger. I’ve been cleaning my room to the core, truly throwing things away that I don’t need and organizing the things I keep. … Read More

Pathology’s Daughter

Categories: health, recovering, what in the entire hayle

I’m really beginning to think maybe that should be the name of my blog. How I have to deal with the fact that my family is riddled with sickness, compounded with bad thinking. My 1st uncle (mom’s 1st brother because she’s the eldest), came over this morning to share breakfast and coffee and drive my … Read More


Categories: bad day, death, recovering

This may be my last post to the old server. I set the domain to move tonight, so tomorrow morning… Fresh beginnings! I had a good cry tonight. I guess it was just sitting on my chest for a little while. I was watching the season premiere of “Six Feet Under”, (morbidly…I am a fan … Read More

Shaping up to be a good day

Categories: random musings, recovering, work crap

Shaping up to be a good day… A meeting I thought I had at 9:30… is actually every OTHER week. And this is the off week! *YESSSSSSSSSSS* The jobbie Job is paying for breakfast this morning. I weigh in today (even though I think I may have gained weight) but I’m keeping my head up … Read More