Little Woman

Categories: celebrations, family, growing, health, mommy in training

Well.  It happened.   My sweet little baby girl’s body has crossed the threshold into womanhood. She got the signs of her first cycle on November 18th.  At first, she didn’t tell me anything about it.  She said she thought it was some weirdness that would pass and she washed out her panties and tried to … Read More


Categories: excursions, family, fear, our history, thinking too much

Snagged a few PTO days for the end of next week.  Convinced the hubby that we can scoop up and walk away.  Drive to some remote town within a 3 hour radius and live there for a little while.  Somewhere with a pool or a seaside.  Somewhere with walls that don’t look like the ones … Read More

First Unborn.

Categories: family, mommy in training, my history, recovering, reminiscing

Dear Son, I’m not sure if I’ve done you the proper honor in remembering you the way you deserve. It’s not theoretically hard to do.  I recall everything like it was yesterday.  It’s been emotionally hard to do.   Your memory is that soft spot on the peach… that if you poke too hard, you’ll … Read More


Categories: death, family, my history, reminiscing

Every day on this day, I flip through your pictures. Telling myself that I won’t commemorate this day. I’d rather celebrate your life than remember your passing. But it’s impossible not to think that this is the day the Earth went cold. Where all the real love was drained from Gaia. When the only person … Read More

In My Solitude

Categories: change, family, figuring it out, growing, thinking too much

E leaves for his much anticipated much planned for and long awaited Inaugural College Tour that he’s planned and pieced together virtually by himself. So from now until Saturday – he’ll be on the road changing these young people’s lives.  He’s so excited – like a giddy little kid who’s scheduled to be on the … Read More

In Vain

Categories: bad day, family

I don’t have the energy to retype everything so I’ll just copy and paste the rant that I just typed to R. You’ll get the gist. me: just got off the phone with mom. she’s complaining that there is so much to do in the house. last night dad had a tough night, he was … Read More

Still Up

Categories: aspirations, bad day, family

The world has gone to sleep and left me here sitting at this computer. I’m painfully lonely tonight (sur-fucking-prise) but I’m just working through it. Literally, all the work I’d do at my desk tomorrow, I’m sitting up and doing now. Just trying to stop thinking, really. Because all my questions don’t have answers. At … Read More