Still

Every day on this day, I flip through your pictures. Telling myself that I won’t commemorate this day. I’d rather celebrate your life than remember your passing. But it’s impossible not to think that this is the day the Earth went cold. Where all the real love was drained from Gaia. When the only person I had ever known to love me unconditionally…. simply disappeared and left me alone.

It’s crazy how seeing your picture makes me still want to caress your slightly wrinkled forehead…. warm and still. Or hear your gentle breathing as I lay my head on your hip and your strum strands of my hair rhythmically.

I almost forget your voice sometimes and have to force myself to remember. Its soft. Its sweet. Its assured. Its love.

I still love you Mommy. I still miss you. I still have so many questions. I still feel you near me. Don’t think you’re slick phasing in and out of Athena like that. I see you. And thank you. You never truly left.

I hope I still make you proud and happy. I know you do.

Until we meet again. Love you till the end of time and beyond.

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