What I know….

Categories: why am i doing this again?

.. is that being employed somewhere that makes you wish you’d have a stroke or a heart attack so that you wouldn’t have to go into the office or make you drink at least an entire bottle of some kind of liquor to numb that pain so you can cope…. is DEFINITELY a toxic situation. … Read More

Churn

Categories: figuring it out, future gazing, why am i doing this again?

Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse, wouldn’t quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out. -Frank Abagnale, Sr. – Catch Me If You Can Two years ago, I was in a peculiar situation.  One that I’d never been during … Read More

No More Glovebox

Categories: future gazing, why am i doing this again?

Night before. I’ve been here before. I think before it’s all over I’ll be here many times more. The precipice of not knowing and wondering what if. The list of promises that bargain for another chance. I won’t do that today. I will say…. no matter the outcome, I will stop treating myself or my … Read More

Rotting on the Vine

Categories: bad day, figuring it out, why am i doing this again?, work crap

I’m not sure what I did.  Or maybe I do. I don’t want to consider it all to be punishment.  Maybe I’m being taught a lesson. But personally and professionally, I am rotting on the vine. Whatever was previously deemed interesting, exciting, brilliant, valuable, worthy is now laying unused.  Unwanted.  Untapped. Maybe in order to … Read More

Awareness

Categories: esteem, why am i doing this again?

So… I have a heart monitor now. Yeah – not quite as serious it sounds, but I love the drama. LOL. It’s a little tool that’s about the size of a pda cell phone and it has 4 silver leads on it, a record button and a play button. And at various times through out … Read More

Chuck vs. Sirloin

Categories: bad day, esteem, love & marriage, why am i doing this again?

High Falootin. Hoity Toity. Uppity. Elitist. I’ve been described as such quite often. I don’t really take it as an offense. I actually think it’s a badge of honor. I want… nay… need the best out of life. I believe strongly that EVERYONE should strive for the absolute best. I was having a discussion with … Read More

Hello, Hell?

Categories: Uncategorized, why am i doing this again?

I’ve been phoning it in the last few days. My participation in the debachle that is my mother’s situation. I’ve kept myself away from it more than before. My general doctor tells me that there are signs of my heart enlarging; and while typically having the proverbial big heart is good… the literal big heart … Read More