This may be my last post to the old server. I set the domain to move tonight, so tomorrow morning… Fresh beginnings! I had a good cry tonight. I guess it was just sitting on my chest for a little while. I was watching the season premiere of “Six Feet Under”, (morbidly…I am a fan … Read More
I kind of went through today in a daze. I didn’t really take account of anything or remember much from my train ride. Outside of the complete lack of consciousness I experienced on the train just playing with my palmpilot. When the train pulled into Times Square, I felt like I had woken up. This … Read More
I am in the foulest mood today. And it’s a result of going to bed in the foulest mood last night. That shit just carries over. I had a falling out with my baby last night. It’s so bad that I didn’t even want to type “my baby” just now. I just was so angry … Read More
That’s my general state of mind lately. I just feel out of it all the time. Doesn’t matter if I’ve slept for 4 days straight, I am still tired half way through the day. But I started taking my vitamins today and someone actually said I look like I’ve lost weight. Of course I didn’t … Read More
#6 on the list of the “Tools of A Pledge”. I learned that on line seemingly a MILLION years ago and it’s still my favorite on the list. It shows a lot to be able to take something up… and see it through. It’s prestigious to call for that at any time in life. It’s … Read More
I just feel like letting my Maxwell sing. This song makes me feel young and frivolous. Ironic that he’s talking about assurance and security. You’re never really thinking of that stuff when you’re being frivolous. Ultimately, I’m seeing that security wins out over passion. It’s dependable, reassuring and becomes one of those things you never … Read More
Cliches abound about the ditch I’ve been digging and how I’ll dig myself out and I think… or deeper and the woe that I wallow in isn’t welcome but it’s warm and feels good at my pity party and I talk bad about everyone in attendance to their face, no less. and i can feel … Read More
So it showed up last night. Just as I was planning a quiet interlude with the Mr. I swear I was looking SO forward to it. Then it just… showed up. No warning shot… Just… BOOM… My body has the worst timing. *SIGH* So I’ve been sick all of Easter Morning. And he’ll be in … Read More
That’s how I’m feeling… on a whole. I’m disgusted with life right now and I’m jealous of everyone who has more and better. Just to the point of being angry. I hate my life. I hate my skin. I hate my body. I hate my job. I hate hating everything. I hate. And this is … Read More
I’m having a general blockage of all energies right now. And I’m very uncomfortable. I can’t wait for it to all be released. Maybe I’ll feel more like myself. *