I want you
I need you
But there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you
Now don’t be sad
Cause two out of three ain’t bad
So my song would go slightly differently… like… I love you, I’ll do anything for you… except.. well u know. At least… never when you want or expect it… and never as frequently as you would like.
I’m feeling a serious void tonight. I tried to talk to Max about it but she was a little sloshed and really didn’t have much to offer. I sat there and for the first time in a long time… i zoned out and the thought of it all being over soothed me for a moment. I know I’ll lapse out of it. I’m probably moody from the chemicals. And nauseous from drinking the other night. But I’m terribly sad tonight. I avoided coming home for hours… i tried to find anything else to do so I wouldn’t have to be here… so I could feel completely isolated. But here I am. I just delayed the loneliness. It was sitting here on my bed, waiting for me to come in.
For the last few weeks, I come home and stare at my buddy list and wonder where all the people are that I used to chat for hours with… into the wee hours of the morning. Where are all those filler folks who made the day pass a little faster. Have I become so detached? I’m in a whole universe on my own. A mind full of things I’ll never have…