I’m Not Going To Love You

I want to stop
myself from trying to
be your first
your last
your everything.
I don’t want to learn
how to make you smile
I needn’t know
how to break down
your walls
to reach the soft
vulnerable core.

The way it is now is fine.

I don’t want to talk
and find out what
arena of the world in which
you are a genius
and champion.

I don’t need to see you
in a light where
I’ll admire you.

Just slide me
under the weight of your
body and fuck me
Let that be the only time
I search your eyes
for any truth

10/20/98
11:58PM