Quiet (Yeah, right).

Quiet (Yeah, right).

Well, it goes without saying much that I’ve been terrible at blogging this year.   There’s been so much going on… there always is.   But there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think that it is absolutely necessary to document it all.  I’ve got a million logs in my head.   ... Read More »

Forget me not.

Forget me not.

I am always reviewing my past.  My forward progress and missteps.  Things I said and things I could have done differently.  Making sure I didn’t miss out on lessons that could have been learned. And some how in reaching back I always touch on some sore points.   Places that, if I do visit them, ... Read More »

2014 – Here we go…

2014 – Here we go…

Over the proverbial hill… This is it – it’s the “big” one… the big 4-0 in October this year and I can tell that already I’m scrambling to get things done in the first 9 months in order to be able to say that I did it.  Typical me.  But there’s so much stigma about ... Read More »

Longing

I gotta start doing this more… I say it all the time. Just logging in any thoughts. Evidencing that I haven’t given up. That’s all for tonight. More discussions of higher consciousness and teachings of prophets another time. I am still here. Still breathing. Still trying to make Sense of it all. * Read More »

Nell Carter

Nell Carter

When I was young… wanna say like… 5 or 6 years old – my mom worked two jobs.  We’ve been down this road – I’ve recounted this numerous times.  Or… maybe I haven’t.  How her leaving for the second job would send me into a frenzy looking for anything I could find that might convince ... Read More »

10/11/13

5 years later and I still miss you. It is NOT easier. It hurts as much – I’ve just gotten better at burying it. I miss the home of your embrace and kissing your forehead. I think about you all the time and hear your thoughts in my head. I fear this won’t ever get ... Read More »

Conflicted

I struggle with staying true to what I’ve always thought and said about things, people and situations. Death is a great equalizer… I got news today that one of the original charter members of my undergraduate chapter passed away last night.   It’s absolutely no mystery that she and I were not on the best ... Read More »

Daughters of Two Worlds

Daughters of Two Worlds

Thought’s Daughter meets Daughter of the Sun http://instagram.com/daughterofthesun I stumbled upon this woman’s instagram documentation of her life and I have to say I’m in absolute awe.   Despite the EXTREME city girl that I am and how thoroughly spoiled I am by the comforts of “civilization”… there is a part of me that DESPERATELY ... Read More »

Everything Looks Good

Everything Looks Good

Today was step one in getting ready to expand my family.  I’d been delaying it for a bit at first of my own volition because of the fear of all the bad news I’d get and then with my bout of mastitis – which I still don’t believe I’ve blogged about – I just knew ... Read More »

Pick One.

Pick One.

At the recommendation of a friend who told me that they were ill equipped to answer my life questions anymore, I sought out a therapist this week.   I’d seen one before.  They wanted to dope me up. And I feel the same way about psychological meds as I do with pain meds.  They aren’t ... Read More »

Cliché / Bully

Cliché / Bully

“Who wants that perfect love story anyway?” -Beyoncé on Jay-Z’s Part II I have gotten caught up on the Magna Carta album hard body. I love the beats and music. And the lyrics. I am so attracted to understanding the thoughts of folks who seemingly have it all. I think I try to understand what ... Read More »

Will it ever matter?

I am having a particularly hard time at work these past few weeks. One situation has sent my left brain into overdrive over the details and the right brain reeling with emotion. I am actually up right now hoping that emptying the contents of said hemispheres onto these pages will give me enough quiet for ... Read More »

Get away with it

Ok. Super strange totally weird fucking bizarre dream. First some housekeeping. DISCLAIMER: I am not bi or curious. I think this had everything to do with the bomb ass chicken nachos I had last night before I passed out. I needed to document it because this is weird as fuck – and yet I am ... Read More »

One Medical Group

One Medical Group

Okay – I’m going to try to make this as brief of a post as possible… but there’s a lot to it. So since weaning Athena in 2012, I’ve still been lactating a bit.  Not cups of milk but a few drops here and there.  Usually when I’m caring for her (which still amazes me ... Read More »

FBF Week 6

14 lbs down.  Eleventy thousand to go.  LOL I keep getting back on the scale because I’m hesitant to believe that changing how i ate started this sloughing off of pounds.  Admittedly, I stay wondering if I’m supposed to hate food now because everything that tasted phenomenal to me is off limits for the most ... Read More »

Mother’s Day 2013

Mother’s Day 2013

This has been the best one yet since being a mom.  I can only think they’re going to get increasingly better as Athena begins to understand more. This year we we went to a Mother’s Day Luncheon put on by a close colleague of mine that owns Two Fish and Five Loaves.  He hosted us ... Read More »

“Victoria Heels”

“Victoria Heels”

Something that made me smile – because seriously? this all can’t be bad.  For realz. My boss comes over to my desk when I was chatting with a co-worker of mine and he says to her… “Hey… weren’t you wearing some “Victoria Heels” earlier today?”  (i suppose she changed into flats) So I say to ... Read More »

Everything Happens For a Reason

Just re-affirming.   There’s a reason I’m on this particular path in life.  It’s going to bring me somewhere great.  I just have to trust that. Raining today.  Matches my mood. Who knows what will happen?   * Read More »

WEEK 3 – FBF

Nope.  ain’t quit yet.  Down 8.4 lbs so far and kicking it into high gear this week hopefully with the addition of gymtime. Not much to say right now.  Besides this process making me think am I supposed to hate food now?  Cause all the things I loved to indulge in are off limits. I ... Read More »

Day 6 & Day 7 – FBF

Day 6 was a doozy.  No matter what I did – I was hungry.  And it’s not like i could “do” much.  I drank much water.  Ate many veggies.  Right through me.   Like I did nothing at all.  I had to pull the ole go-to-sleep-so-i-dont-feel-hungry trick from back in poverty days.   I got ... Read More »

DAY 4 & DAY 5 – FBF

Day 4  was an interesting one.  Really stuck to the plan but didn’t feel “hungry” all day.  I wonder if my body is IN ketosis because I should be hungry.  I ain’t eating shit. LOL  But then again there is SOOOOOO much for the body to make use of in the mean time. Day 5 ... Read More »

Day 3 – FBF

Did okay today.  Followed all the rules.  Realized that all of the appeal of a burger to me is in the bun.  So.  Meh – who needs those.   Not I. I think Luke James is this world’s version of my alternate reality’s doctor (read here).  I think it’s why i dote so long on ... Read More »