4.0

Sitting here in the waiting room at the hospital.nbsp; Starving.nbsp; But it’s just so pronounced today. Probably because I realize that there won’t soon be that familiar safety net… that comfort waiting for me on the other side. This won’t be over and then I can go stuff my face later out drown my fears in what ever spirited drink I can get a hold of.nbsp; No…. No more of that. I will have to learn to listen carefully to my body, understand what it really needs and find the best possible way to provide that. Feels a little bit like withdrawal, if I knew what that was like.nbsp; E is by my side but napping.

Now in prep… in my gown and in the bed waiting for the doctor.

And just like that, it’s over. The anesthesia techs came in to claim me and they prepped me on the operating table and then, lights out. When I woke up again, in was in recovery, a little drowsy but none the worse for wear. The nurses and assistants were all so nice and accommodating it made it easy to forget that I just had major surgery.

I have 3 incision sites. On on my belly button, and two on either side of my rib cage. They are sore as hell and since the pain meds wore off they are all I feel.

We rented a recliner for me to sleep in at night which was one of the best decisions we made. I the absolute hardest part since being home was not being able to love up on my baby girl. She was wants to dive head first into my abdomen and I think my flinch reaction has her thinking that I don’t like her. I wish she could understand. She cried last night when I couldn’t be the one to rock her to sleep. I cried too… But what can I do? It’s only temporary.

Really sore this morning and gassy (TMI) but up and ready for the day. Gonna do some walking and see if I can keep these blood clots out of my legs ?

It’s done…. finally. Let my new life begin!!

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