Giving up is hard to do
This world and the way it works can really have you feeling like you Are crazy of trying to make sense of it. There are so many things in place to have you thinking that the path that feels right is wrong for you and the path that feels … Well… Less than awesome is probably more “secure” and therefore in the long run, better for you. Crazily enough whatever decision you make, you will always wonder “what if” thanks to the human brain’s crazy wiring.
A dear friend is in a heart breaking situation. Unhappily married and with a brand new child in their lives. And unhappy for all the reasons that sound so common to me from a lot of friends both male and female – no real connection anymore since the marriage or the baby, one barely touches the other (and the sense is always that its not just because they are tired. One of them doesn’t want the other. Period point blank); a general lack of being on the same page the majority of the time; and a million other symptoms that gnaw away at the inner workings of these marriages. Some of us learn to deal and try to “fix” or “live with” it. Other, more uncompromising individuals try to jump ship, salvage what is left of youth and life to live and start over. Some do this regardless of age, like my Nininne who divorced the last husband at 60 something and went on to salvage the rest of her life when most others are hoping to cling to someone in an effort not to be alone “in the end”. Some do it because they found the true love of their lives … Just later and after the initial jump and can’t imagine themselves living another minute in a fabrication when they know there is something really real right there, waiting. My friend found “her”. The cosmically crossed love of his life that he delighted in telling me how many things they shared in common and end the statement “isn’t that bananas?” She was unhappy too. In a marriage that is less than fulfilling – selfish husband who she caught out there sexting other women when he wouldn’t give her the time of day. But they were trying to fix it when THEY met… The stars crossed and nothing was the same. He decided the other day to “shit or get off the pot” : he offered to leave everything behind – wife and child … abode even, if she said she would want to be with him and share this life with him. He definitely had more to lose, but the proposal was risky for both. To their society – an ugly mess wrought with drama and scandal. But to them… when the dust would settle? A lifetime with their soul’s mate. The ball was in her court now. He was willing to give her all the time she needed to think it out and make up her mind. And he held his breath.
“She said no, sis. She turned me down,” his text to me read. I just stared at it and MY heart broke some. Something about this world tells us to follow broken paths out to the end if we can, attempting to fix things along the way. And every now and again, someone brave enough tries to leap onto the road less travelled. Harder to do when that road you want needs tread with someone else.
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