The right kind of “old”

It’s a a standard in this world to want to grow old. A Ripe Old age. But I am not sure what kind of thought is put behind that wish. I am and always have been a proponent of speaking exactly what you want or you will get exactly what you speak. In terms of getting old, I want to be a bright, sharp, spry kind of old. Still ambulatory on my own and not needing assistance to wash or wipe my own body parts. Sure there may be a few prosthetic replacements but to make me stronger… Not keep me alive. I would need the minimal amount of help when it requires something heavy or excessive long distances. I can still cook and talk and think…. Maybe even drive well on my own. Even though at the time I am writing this I am a firm advocate of checking the elderly on their sight and reflexes past a certain age. They are sometimes the biggest danger to others and themselves on the road. There is no vegetable living for me. Pull that plug. It’s just not worth it to me to feel my family suffering wondering if I can or cannot hear / understand / feel them.

I related it to MB like this – let’s say my mom had lived to see Athena but was in the same kind of heath that she was when she passed. Seeing Athena would probably be all that she could do. She could not chase behind her. Cook for her. Care for her. And knowing my mom? That would have eaten away at her. It would have made her feel useless and like wanting to die. And that could be worse sometimes. All I am saying is that it’s worth trying to do everything in my power to be as healthy and autonomous for as long as i can for Athena’s sake. And whoever else we decide to bring into this whole journey with us…

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