So I went out last night with my girls last night. Primarily Max & Sug but Shar was there and Az and friends. It was a BET Viewing party and I’d never gone to one of those before. But JB was throwing it and so I decided to support. I had fun. I’d never watched TV with that many people before. The intro to the show was funny and bold to me. Monique, the comedienne, and 8 other very full figured sistahs re-enacted Beyonce’s Crazy In Love Video. I cheered and cheered because it’s great that big girls can get that kind of movement going. Then some cats in the audience I was in actually booed. Although I’m transitioning out of being an “official” big girl… the hate that comes from dudes like that is what makes me so mad. If we as “big girls” could just decide on our own that maybe this isn’t what we want to be, then maybe we’d love ourselves more to actually make the change. Instead we get hated on… and then we hate ourselves… and hate the process of turning something we hate into something we can love. It’s such a sick circle. But kudos to those women… they represented.
The party wasn’t much of a party, we didn’t get to dance all that much… but the ride home was really great. I was in the car with my 2 best friends reminiscing about college and it was phenom. We laughed and remembered crazy times and just were young all over. It was really great. I’m going to miss Sug so much. She was marveling at how “black” I am now. It’s funny when I’m in these social settings with them, they marvel. Because I was soooooo white when they met me. I hear them whispering to each other “we’ve created a monster” LMAO!!!! Those two are definitely the mothers of my new mind. But it was so cool hanging out with them.
My sweet baby drove us all home and I got out and hugged everyone… and then he took me home. He played Jill Scott in the car on the way to drop Shar off… and I got out of the car to walk Shar to her apt. door. On the way back I could hear the faint guitar / violin / base of “The Way”. And he stood there by the passenger seat car door with it open, waiting for me. And I looked at him. And wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. And he kissed me back in a way that said, he didn’t only want one kiss. He slid his arms around my waist and held me close. We got in the car and I held right arm as he drove (which he loves)… and he took me home. All the weirdness and stupidity that was between us for the past few days just evaporated and we were okay again. So this is for my sweetness: