I have this habit of keeping old notes and emails.
They’re great for nostalgia’s sake. But they serve a few purposes for me. One is in the same vein as what this blog does. My memory fades. I want to keep close the memoires that mean something. So I write them down and I go back one day and read through and USUALLY say to myself “OH MAN!! I’d forgotten about that day! Or hey… I’m not a half bad writer when I want to be.”
The second purpose is to help me corroborate what I DO remember. And to qualify that I’m not all the way crazy. That sometimes… it IS how I remember it… and I have notes from YOU to prove it. That once upon a time you did fill my mind with thoughts that I have not been able to let go of since. Thoughts of our friendship. Thoughts of our dedication. Thoughts of the fun we had. Thoughts of the love we shared. Thoughts that you considered me the tops and you thought I felt the same. Thoughts of the family moments we shared. Thoughts that we shared a LOT of the same principles. Thoughts of us being drastically different but enhancing each other. Not just loves and lovers, but friends, acquaintances, family… Because it all changes so quickly. At the drop of a hat it becomes something altogether different and I never can explain THAT part. There really isn’t a documentation of the change, necessarily. Just only when it’s good. And then again when it’s terrible and all the damage is done…
I just keep them to remind myself that I’m NOT crazy about it having been a good thing once no matter where it stands today.