Mommy? You mad a GREAT choice

We sometimes don’t give it too much thought. I wouldn’t know initimately… but… when you look at your child and then look around for it’s “God Parents” (if that’s what your religion details). The person who is supposed to help in the child’s spiritual development. And in the off chance that you may pass, would be the care taker for the child.

Who knew the need would extend beyond being a “child”? I find myself in desperate need of a parent these days. Always reaching for the phone. Always having to remind myself that there’s no one at the end of that particular number and having to straighten myself up and fly right. Be a grown up. Be a WOMAN and stand on my own.

When all I want to do is collapse into a little ball of tears and just sob. I look at the picture of us that we posted when I gave tribute to my mom and see the bandage on my knee… and KNOW that at some point… she kissed it and made it all better. And I just didn’t feel like I had anyone to make me feel that way anymore. All boo-boos were up to me going forward.

I had a REALLY bad day, medically, yesterday. And I cowered in my husband’s arms, but it wasn’t the same. He’s there to protect me… but it’s very different. That’s a lateral protection. A mother’s protection comes from above. Almost in the same direction that divine protection comes from. So my Nininne (here’s the history on that nickname – in French, your Godmother is called “marraine” – the last syllable sounding “ren” you could see how a baby might say neh-nenne in stead of mah-renne) called me and did nothing short of kiss my boo boo over the phone. Even promised that she’d be here soon (which she will be in a week) and told me that everything would be alright.

I cried a little, because I’ve been trying so hard to be strong… when she was there… hand picked by my mom… for me to lean on.

Thank GOD for my Nininne.


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