Separation Anxiety

Categories: Uncategorized

My dream-self got left again.
It happens every so often. I drift to sleep- sometimes even in my Earl’s arms only to awaken in Dream Vicky’s nightmarish reality. This time it seems some Reeney character had made her way into the house and into Dream Earl’s heart. And while he vehemently denied doing anything, she draped her self all over him with words and actions. Saying that she loved him and needed to be with him and there was no other for her and the time they’d spent together meant the world. Dream Vicky was chasing this girl around yelling like a crazy person for her to get the fuck out and don’t ever come back and stop breaking up my home and what the fuck bitch. Only at the end, for her to saddle up behind Dream Earl and wrap her hands around his chest — like I do in reality to the real world Earl — and hold him tenderly…. and he did nothing to attempt to break free. Dream Vicky looked at the two of them and realized… SHE wasn’t the one that was wanted in this situation. And spared no time reacting. The argument was taking place in my mother’s old bedroom and Dream Vicky stormed into my old bedroom and started pulling out Louis Vuitton luggage (nice goin dV) to begin packing … all the while wondering where she’ll go. Who’ll want her now? How will she start over…..? Have all the years meant nothing? There’s so much more to leaving now, isn’t there? What about the 22 dream embies on freeze? What about the fact that dreamE doesn’t want to even try? NEVER MIND WHO he decided to leave me for…

What will it all mean?

I finally woke up from it but replete with all the heaviness and sadness of a real fight and real separation. The real Earl came to comfort me and reassure me that he’s not going anywhere and that it’s me and him for life. And while that was good enough for Real Vicky – I worry about my Dream self. And what she’ll do now… It resurrected this sensation in me from a post years ago. A picture that I found in 2005 that resonated with me then…and seems to resonate with Dream Vicky now…

I think there are negative contrails out today… everyone is feeling… down.



    Leave a Reply