Commemoration

Sweet li’l mommy –

2 years.

There’s only so long that I can commemorate death. I’m not that way.
Even the world completely changes. The night you left, there was a full moon out. Last night? I stood on an unobstructed beach at night and no trace of the moon. But I kept seeing little remembrances of you everywhere. Le Creuset in the store. How I obsess (like you did) about fixing the bed. Knowing how to behave in “society” – even though society doesn’t really do it the way you taught anymore LOL. You’re always with me. You visit me in dreams. I remember all the lessons you taught – especially the one you had to share with me most: trop presse pas fait jour l’ouvrie (hurrying doesn’t make the day start).

It’s hard for me to “commemorate” the day you LEFT… rather than celebrate all that your life gave me. Your birthday is just a mere month away. I think I much rather celebrate your life.

But I acknowledge this is the day you ascended. And I still miss you as much… if not more. It does get easier… but not in the way we’re used to this kind of thing being easier. Easier means – it’s not all consumming anymore…. but on the days that it does trap your mind….

well. those are very hard days.

I’m still here thinking about you, Mommy. I wrote you a couple of posts this year. You popped in and out of my dreams to work with me… work on me… comfort me… warn me. Just like you did in life. I miss most being able to talk to you. It’s hard to realize after all this time that you were indeed the best friend I’d ever had.

I really miss you li’l mommy.

Love you always

 

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