Categories: catching up, figuring it out, health

Dag. It’s been a while since I wrote. I’m not sure I’ve ever taken this amount of time away from it. I’ve just gotten quieter with age. It’s so funny… I can remember how chatty I was as a child and how my mom would continually wish for me to quiet down. She couldn’t understand what I was so animated about all the time. Well… I can see where she may have been coming from. Not that I lack animation for a dearth of things to be excited about. I’m just tired. And for ME who works a desk job and the most strenuous thing I do is THINK all day… my mom who worked two manual labor jobs back to back daily was indeed uninterested in me my tazmanian devil tornado-ing around her daily.

Oh well. I’m grateful. When you have a clear marker of when you’ve been seriously wounded to the point where after you’ve healed you can THINK about the location of your wound and it feels tender in your mind – the gratefulness flows that you are not currently wounded or actively helping that wound to heal. You bask in the gratefulness of what today is in comparison. Is today perfection? No – but what it isn’t is the fucking shitshow that you survived back then. So I’m grateful. Life ISN’T hellish job scapes coupled with post-apocalyptic pre-zombie invasion pandemic states and life partners stroking out right now. Life is none of those things, Thank God… and good. Good and quiet.

I’m turning inward for healing and answers. Looking to solve long-standing problems this year perched on this precipice peering into this milestone. 50. My God. How terrifying. How grateful.

I’ve been researching this grounding phenomenon where you touch the earth barefooted and it helps to neutralize your electric state of being. There’s a much more scientific way of putting that but it’s late and I’m tired. I just want to document the first couple of days of doing it.

Last night I did it for about 20 minutes before going to bed. I thought it would make me sleep better. Instead, my mind just played tricks on me and had me thinking that I was amassing an electric charge that I had to dispel on the nearest human and I wasn’t comfortable until I did. Earl was perplexed as to why I kept touching him last night. Not that I don’t normally but more than usual I guess. I tried it again today but put the grounding pad under my desk and had my bare feet on it for half of the day… since about 3:00. I keep getting little shooting sensations of electricity around my feet, calves, knees elbows, and fingers. I hear that is a good sign because that means that circulation is being stimulated. I hope that it’s all a good thing.

Well. Off to bed. I’ll come back soon and regale with tales soon.



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