Dreams In the Mist

Categories: esteem, fear, figuring it out

I’m listening to the old song by “Heart” – These Dreams. I love this song. I’ll always feel like I’m 13 when I hear this song. And it’s not a bad feeling at all. Appropo that I’m listening to it as I close out my day.

Today was relaxing and productive at the same time. Started out a bit frustrating because the cable was acting like a punk biatch. It was in and out, but I think it finally stabilized. They said they were doing some work in this area. So I hope it’s over. I panicked!!! LMAO… that just tells me how much I depend on this connection. Then I started work on the Othay website. I’m actually very proud of myself. It’s quite pretty :). So I’ll put the finishing touches on that tomorrow and begin the NM site. (which I already feel is going to be significantly less impressive, just because of the lack of information I have on that chapter… but Hey… oh well). I actually rested AND I stayed under my food points. Which is great!

Today was a good reflective day. I was walking around and I thought to myself about something I was saying to W. About how when I reach 165 (my goal) that I’ll have to beat them off with a stick. But I was thinking… what if I don’t. What if I get to 165 and no one notices? I have to find intrinsic motivation. Waiting for cats to beat the doors down is just setting myself up for failure. I want to be healthy. I want to feel spry and flexible and able to keep up with anything. And feel rested when I sleep and not out of breath when I walk up the stairs. Just in good shape. For me. Not for another soul. F’ the cats that would beat down the doors. I got mines.

I’m off to bed…



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