The Box...

I got another lesson in things not always being what they seem yesterday. Truth be told, yesterday was one of those days where I think it might have been altogether better to just stay in bed and opt out. But my sense of obligation propelled me forward. Despite be feeling physically horrid, my mind was racing because hi, have you met me? It’s what MY mind does. I valiantly make it in to work and am in the throes of being productive when I get a phone call from the company mail room informing me that I have a “box”. Oh okay… OHHH… It’s...

Getting Me Ready...

The following is NOT for the weakhearted or squeamish. You’ve been warned. So, Tuesday, I got my period. (yeah – I wasted no time) It’s not something I share with the world freely unless I absolutely have to (due to lack of a pad or maybe commiserating with a fellow female or whatever). I did however inform my husband and thought nothing of that. During the day Tuesday (and when I say i just got it – we’re talking warning shots mostly….) I get a call from someone with a very thick Eastern European accent from Dr. K’s office. “Hello...

An Awkward Situation…...

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So Quiet… So simple...

I’m home. I’m safe. I’m loved. Home is clean. Personal effects that I’ve had a lot of love for for a long time are restored and in my home. My husband is breathing deeply as he sleeps off our 3 year anniversary dinner. I love his skin. I love his mind. I love his eyes. He loves me infinitely. I adore him. I dote on him. He’s still uncomfortable with me staring at him, but I can’t help it. I’m in awe. I didn’t know this kind of love was possible. I live in anticipation of the love and life we’ll create together...

Cry Baby...

Greene Light Photography - Hayden Greene So the latest in Victoria fashion is that I seem to cry alot at baby stories. I watched a few shows of that nature last night with the hubby and ended up bawling every time a baby made it into the world. Used to be something that was so far fetched for me… the idea of giving birth. But it’s become more and more real as of late that the possibility of doing it all makes me feel… empathetic to what the women on the screen are experiencing. More and more though, I know I’d like to have a midwife and a home birth....

Fight Alone...

They’re all going to frown at you… they’re all going to frown at you… Brows furrowed and arms crossed. Fuming at you for wrongs not personally done to them But it’s their job. I’m standing very alone in a situation that calls for backup. But I don’t have much anymore these days. Just my own heart and mind telling me I can stand strong and be strong. And may be that’s all I need. I need to assert myself against a claim formerly made by Cary that I was not the stuff of marriage material. I AM… I can be. I’m always...

Laws of Attraction...

Amidst last night’s tossing and turning, and obviously, ending up in a very bad position that has my arm feeling like I popped my shoulder out of my rotator cuff i experienced a pretty strange, vivid dream. Thankfully it wasn’t the kind that I’ve been used to lately. There was some kind of a crisis outside of a friends building – there was a rally of police cars, fire trucks… something was going down and I happened to be there at my friends house for a get together. When everything died down, we went back upstairs to the apartment party where...

Okay, Enough Already...

I’ve been keeping so much bottled in because I can’t stand the thought of it “getting out”… But you know what – I started this blogging experience way long ago when it was called journaling and i had a paper and pen (found ALL my journals in the excavation of my parent’s old apartment – even from elementary school). Fine – back then there wasn’t a “world audience” – but I truly believe there isn’t one here either. I’m writing to the universe and whoever else would like to chime in. ...

Dead To Us...

Happy New Year, everyone… as is customary, the only thing that can seem to shake me out of my silent streak is a particularly harrowing dream that requires documentation. I haven’t blogged as of recent because keeping busy had kept my mind from exploding. I fear sitting still too long will force all that has happened in the last three years and three weeks to come slamming to the front of my life’s car as if I hit the breaks. I can’t afford to have that happen, so I apply steady pressure to the accelerator. Sometimes, you miss the sign that says “BUMP”…. Again...

Homegoing...

I haven’t posted in a little while – there’s been so much going on. I started today’s post with the intention of documenting this CRAZY dream I had last night. The longer I’m awake though – the less of it I remember – but it was along the lines of this. I was supposed to drive somewhere. But I really was in NO condition to drive. I was either DUMB tired or really drunk. I obviously fell asleep at some point but had the wherewithall to pull the car over to sleep. It took me a second to regain focus in the dream upon waking up but...