10 Weeks, 5 Days

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Well, the bliss of being pregnant has summarily been overcome with the dangers I knew I’d face. I just didn’t realize they’d all happen in one sitting at the Perinatal Doctor’s office.

For the last two weeks, hubby and I have been treating this pregnancy like a NORMAL one and going out and researching OBs out there who might be potential candidates for being the ones to deliver our kid. We met a bunch we didn’t like and some that we did. Overall, we’re spoiled by the fact that our RE doctor who we’ve been with for 2 years now has such state of the art stuff going on in his office and these OBs are always sending people away to go get labs done. AH. NOYING. But we had our appointment with the Perinatal doctor yesterday and suddenly, I had to stop considering this to be a normal pregnancy just because it was a miracle that it happened.

Basically, my kid is in a war zone down there. And I’d ALWAYS known it would be – but I guess I’d hoped that he’d be spared a little since it took so much to reconstruct my uterus and ovaries for me to even GET pregnant. Starting with 14 fibroids and endometriosis all over my uterus and ovaries that we had to get cleaned out before there was even a chance of anything embedding in there… we now move to a new word in my vocab and an old one that has been looming till yesterday when it struck.

Thrombophilia. Yeah. Genetic factor passed down from my parents who were inundated with medical problems. It makes me clot more than I should. Makes my body do more fibrous things than it should normally. Hence the fibroids. And now, hence the tiny clots developing in my baby’s placenta. The doctor reassured me that we caught it early enough to start administering Lovenox in order to thin my blood out and make it better for the production of future placenta. That one didn’t worry me AS much outside of the factors: 1) @ my gene pool and that I’ll be passing this anguish along to this little precious one and 2) I hate that the baby has to work through Beirut to be here.

Old word to me, same scary implications: Rhogam. RHNegative I am. Which means I’m predisposed to forming antibodies to anything that isn’t A Negative blood. And since there’s only 3% of us out there, it really slimmed down the choices for husbands.Confused Well, I nabbed one (a husband that is), but he’s not A Negative blood type. I understood that the Rhogam shot had to be administered if I miscarried or after delivery. I had one after my miscarriage in 99 and understood that I was covered till after this pregnancy. WRONG. Seems that I have a little placental tissue that’s at my cervix and waiting to bleed out. And because there will be this possible intermingling of blood – the RH factor becomes a bigger risk to the fetus now. So they Perinatalogist wants to give me a shot of Rhogam today. They actually wanted to give it to me yesterday but it would have required me needing to not go back to work and wait for 2 hours as they made the shot. But of course I couldn’t do that so this morning it is. However, the World Wide Worry Web has informed me that these shots sometimes have Thimerisol in them and that can damage the fetus’ oxygen flow and cause brain damage / autism. SO MUCH RISK FOR MY DEVELOPING BABY……. how am i NOT supposed to be super worried about the future of this little one. I feel that perhaps I should NOT have wanted for a kid. Natural selection had me ruled out. I was NOT supposed to be able to have kids. Without all this wonderful science that we developed, I would have been ASSED OUT. But I tricked the system…. I think. And maybe it’s mad that I did.

Hubby says I’m stressing myself out. I’m going to go breathe….


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