Trust the Facts

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Trust the Facts.

October 16th, 1998

It was a sunny saturday morning. It was his birthday morning and the morning we decided that we’d go out and buy him a new Lexus. He deserved it, he worked hard and he had run his car into the ground. And quite frankly – I was tired of hearing the breaks grind and screech when he stopped. So – seeing as though I was going to marry him… it only made sense for me to contribute to help him buy a new car. We woke up that morning and he kissed me as he went off to run an errand. He’d be back in two hours. “Perfect, ” I thought to myself, “just enough time for me to clean his room and get his stuff organized.”

While he was gone the phone rang a couple of times. But I knew my place. I’m just the girlfriend. No need to be answering. But this one number was coming up a LOT. “Davis Brown” the fancy call id read. Davis Brown had called many times last night, but my man felt compelled to ignore it. I figured it was because he was trying to give me a chance to make his birthday night memorable and not clog it up with long phone conversations where I sat idly by and hoped he’d end it soon. But now we were going on Davis Brown’s 7th call. I felt I needed to do something. I picked up the phone. “hello?” … a pause… and a hesitant woman’s voice. “Hello?” I felt the anger building up because the lies started to count off in my head. But I kept my composure. “Yes,” I repeated again pleasantly, “hello?” More hesitation…. “um… is R there?…” I responded like the comensurate secretary, “No, he’s not… may I take a message?” I heard her stutter and through tears mutter, “Wh…wh… who is this?” “I think you know who I am, sweetie. Now did you want to leave a message or not?” I uttered quite matter of factly. She began to sob and hung up. I assessed all the information I had from the beginning of the call to the end. By the time I was done, the phone rang again. And now she was yelling. Yelling about how they fucked 2 nights ago. And THEY were in love. And THEY were getting married because my ass was old and uninteresting and she had what he wanted. And I was a has been and he’s made his decision and it wasn’t me. I calmly told this little girl she needed to stop making prank calls and leave grown folks to their business. I heard her squeaking through the reciever as I placed it on the holder and heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He was back.

Hold it together, V, I encouraged myself. Do NOT lose your composure. He showed through the door all smiles and waiting for me to jump into his arms. But I must’ve had a scowl on my face because his first words were, “What’s wrong?” “Mind telling me who Crystal is?” I inquired. He stuttured (which I was used to ), but he did take his time with the response this time – which I wasn’t. “What do you mean? Who is that?” After some more questions and revealing of the phone calls from Davis Brown – he denied ADAMANTLY that he knew ANYONE named Crystal and that he had NO idea who I was talking about. When I tell you ADAMANTLY – it was like I’d just told him that the sky was green and water wasn’t wet.

Unfortunately I have this policy about people’s birthday. I feel that everyone’s birthday should be a true celebration of their lives and full of joy and happy intent. So i wasn’t going to give him the spanish inquisition now… I would hold off till later. As we went to get his current car washed, we waited in line behind the other dirty cars. And as I stared at my torn thumbs I muttered to him…. “If I promise to stay and help work things out with you… will you tell me the truth?” I waited….

The silence was deafening.

Then he said…

“You promise?”

That’s all I needed to hear. Whatever came out of his mouth from then forward was a package of lies and truth. “She is this chick that lives across the street, I fucked her once.” I tuned out after that. Because when I had the FACTS in front of me… he asked me to believe his word. And it didn’t matter how many times he did (which I found out later was MANY) but the fact that he lied before ever surrendering the truth. Lie after lie after lie after lie makes it so that we thoroughly destroyed that horse. It’s not even dead. It’s disintegrated. I truly wanted to believe every word when he asked me to. And I felt I gave him his chance… to tell me the truth. And he lied.

And I found myself in that situation COUNTLESS times. It almost seems to never end. I am NO amateur.







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