I hate these kinds of posts because AP told me one time that it’s hard to read my blog because of the length of the posts. And I started to feel bad and then I realized… “HEY… I’m writing this for me. Not really for anyone else.” However, I realize a bunch of people read it so I’ll try to curtail the length of the post as much as I can without sacrificing detail.
Monday was my dissertation on need vs. greed. What I realize brought that on is that I was hanging out with an old friend who announced that you shouldn’t always have to NEED something in order to do it. You can do it because you like to. Even if you’ve had enough of it to satisfy your standard need… you can keep on looking for other venues for it to happen because it pleases you. Like food… You like the meal that was prepared at your house and you have it regularly and you eat to your hearts content to fulfill the need… but then sometimes you eat what’s at home AND you got directly out to a restaurant that is serving your favorite food…and you eat there too because you like it. I dare say it changed how I looked at this particular person… but… that’s been happening in this case quite steadily for the last few months. Not in a bad way… Just not the person I pegged them to be, so I’m making a lot of readjustments.
The highlight of my day tuesday was the CD101.9 New York Chill Launch party which was held at this great place called Megu. It was super fashionista and totally classy and the audience that we’re going to cater to seems super much cooler than the Smooth Jazz Set. Anyway… I was in rare form. I came in there feeling a little down after having visited a place in my esteem that I hadn’t been in a LONG time and wasn’t excited about returning to it. So I walked in with the “I need a drink mentality” feeling really lonely and out of my element. But I think I looked fabulous and I got a glass of wine in my hand and started to loosen up almost immediately. I felt like I was in charge of the situation there (work wise and managing my photogs, who are fantastic) and I was shmoozing and rubbing elbows with the best of them. Celebrities, upper management, the whole nine.
One experience that I found to be a new one for me that night is while I was patroling the floor looking for people to talk to… I thought I spied one of our djs in the corner, sitting by himself. And knowing THAT particular dj… I found it strange… so I walked over looking at the person as if I was trying to figure out who he was… and he was doing the same (because he clearly didn’t know me…) And eventually he stood up to meet me half way. I apologized to him about staring and explained to him why… and he promptly introduced himself. We sat and talked for a few minutes. It was light and brief and mildly flirtatious although I wasn’t attracted to him at all. And at one point I glanced down at his left hand and he had a wedding band on. And I used to at that point think to myself 1) oh well… another one that’s off limited 2) Damn… it looks like i’m trying to talk to a married man or 3) Damn… it looks like he’s trying to talk to me. But like a flash of recognition… I was reminded by some divine whisper “You have one too…..” And I looked down at my hand and saw it glowing at me… and I instantly perked up… and excused myself (politely) from the conversation to mingle about… feeling invincible. I didn’t need ANYONE’S validation in this room. I was good all on my own. Cause I’m really not alone. I carry my baby’s love with me everywhere. *sigh*
Got into work a little later than normal, thanks to the celebratory events of the past evening. I would say weds. went through quietly…. I didn’t go to Exec because I simply could not afford to get out there and the meeting be over. So I stayed at worked a little extra and my brother came to pick me up to take me home. No big events there.
We went out after work (we being Vernie, Shar, Jenn and I) to celebrate Shar’s birthday. It was fun. Blink suggested this spot called Table 50 for us to go shake it up. But when we got there we just wanted to eat. So we sat at the sister restaruant CornerShop and ate to our hearts content. Nice place and good food, although it takes a while to get the food out in between courses. I would go there again if it was with that assemblage of women. I felt really at ease and at home. I love my true sisters… beyond Sorors… the ones who I feel are family. Those are such women. I felt like we were in another time and space just sitting and talking and carefree and happy. I need to hang with them more. I was brought to reality when Vernie said to us, “I’m gonna miss you guys…” I had to stop from tearing up, because I realized only recently how very far away she’s going to be. And how hard it is for me to maintain ties with folks that are far away. I’m a very physical person. Talking from a distance is fine but at some point I need to hold your hand or hug you or walk with you. I guess I’ll just be making trips down to Florida, (cursed state that keeps swallowing up all of my loved ones) *sigh* But I’m so happy for her. She looks excited (and a little scared) to leave, but so much new life is waiting for her with her new fiance and new home. I just have to work hard to stay a part of that all. Eventually my baby came to pick us up but Vern and Shar stayed to shake their booties and he took me and Jenn home. I slept well.
KISS CARES COAT DRIVE also known as stay-on-your-damned-feet-all-day-and-wander-back-and-forth-till-you-start-to-get-delirious-after-the-10th-hour. I was there for 14 hours. From 9 AM – 11 PM. Barely sat… but really had nothing (or rather, was assigned nothing to do, but sit and take pictures). It was for a great cause and I always like participating in stuff like that… but GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO. *sigh* Highlights of the night – Maxi got to meet George Huff… who I didn’t know till he walked into the Virgin Mega Store… but she was so excited… she even took a picture with him. And that made me happy to see her light up like that. My baby stepped and did the damned thing. He’s such a performer. I love him to the core of my soul. I just started jumping up and down and screaming for him. He moves me so. Low point: I was coming back from a brief walk on the outside afterh the 10th hour… and on his way out was this white man with fairly long hair (to his shoulders) and grungy kind of appearance. Mumbling something under his breath about “damned niggers” – in TRUE i-have-a-klansman-cap-at-home fashion. And it made me so sad. Yes… we were grouped all around and making it tough for folks to come in and out of the store (not intentionally)… but can you imagine the REASON why? I found it hard to call anyone in there a NIGGER (although some were acting REAAAAAAAAAAAALLL GHETTO). The cause for their attendance should make us greater than any misnomer or expletive. But… I guess he’s the true Nigger… because he was completely ignorant to our reason.
Today is our 10th Anniversary as the Charter Members of Rho Theta Chapter! Which makes me and my LSs 10 years strong in the bonds of Alpha Kappa Alpha. I’m excited about it. Only 15 years to go before Silver Star *tee hee*. But there is no rush. AKA, for better or for worse, has captured my heart and my attention. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be an AKA till the day I die and ALWAYS proud of it! SKEEE WEEEEE!!!
I had a funny dream last night that I got news that Cary killed himself. I found that VERY strange because through out the whole dream I’m like a detective trying to find the motive for him doing it and get more details but everyone was being so tight-lipped about it. And I was getting upset because I was very concerned that he would have been so moved to do anything like that. Despite his shortcomings and his bad decisions… he powers through all of that and keeps on living. But in the morning, when I woke up and deciphered the dream from reality, the rationale came to me: He would never do that… He has his baby girls to live for. Who WOULDN’T want to live to see them grow and progress? Strange. Maybe the dream means that my subconscious has finally rid itself of him as a constant presence in my mind. Because he was for so long… And now I haven’t thought about him seriously, in months. Wonder what’s happening up there in my head sometimes. LMAO!
So I’m sitting under the dryer trying to beautify for today… It’s going to be a GREAT day today! I can’t wait to live through it all and savor every moment!