I want to embrace this energy. I know that change is hard and scary and daunting and necessary. Never has it really ever been fun (the process of change). But it can lead to fun… innovation… newness… a fresh take. In the process though, things suck. I’ve not had an appetite as of late but … Read More
I have a vivid memory. Just before I stopped dating anymore, I dated one last person. I invested a lot into him which is strange because I wasn’t really attracted to him at first. But then he expressed an interest in me and you all know that is the secret formula for me. If you … Read More
This post is an assignment from my therapist. She asked me to take a few moments to sit and think about what I want. The ask is lofty. I want so much. But I’ll attempt a bullet point the things that matter the most. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin I want … Read More
“I tried to change.Closed my mouth more, tried to be softer, prettier, less awake.Fasted for 60 days, wore white, abstained from mirrors, abstained from sex, slowly did not speak another word.” – Warsan Shire I’ve been looking for something. A sign. Some direction. A treasure map. Invisible ink. Writings on walls. I’ve been playing … Read More
A disturbing dream last night. I was living in a housing arrangement where I was a house slave. The overseer was my dad do he didn’t make me do much in the way of work because he spoiled me and doted on me. But he was strict with the other slaves and treated them as … Read More
There were whole factions of people that I used to hang my life on. I’d speak to them daily. Never a week would go by where I wouldn’t reach out to them. They were active, turning cogs in the machine of my life. Few decisions were made without consultation with them and free time was … Read More
Some advice you never forget. Even moreso if the quality of the person giving is extraordinary. I love my chapter. I’m grateful to have found it and be a part of it since 2001. Early on I noticed a constantly moving earth beneath my feet when it came to being a longstanding member of a … Read More
She came in to the radio station once to sing this for us live, no accompaniment. We all knew in that instant that she would be a star. The SHEER emotion she exuded. If you’d ever been in any similar situation you were sitting there fighting tears. We always imagine the song from the singer’s … Read More
Pronunciation – pay-tay fyelle mouenh Growing up it was a term I heard a LOT from my elders. Usually in relation to something they couldn’t take anymore of. Something so overwhelming that they felt that their brains would blow out of their heads. The direct translation speaks exactly to that. A feeling so overpowering that … Read More