Two years ago today, I celebrated my love for Earl by promising to be his from now into eternity. And as I do a retrospective of my life over the last few years as well as all my years of knowing what love is… I think I can make a preliminary short list assessment of what love is… and what it isn’t. This is purely my experience… because everyone’s is different.
All that LOVE isn’t –
- It isn’t fairy tales ending in happily ever after
- It isn’t always what you were hoping for or expected
- It isn’t predictable
- It isn’t always forgiving.
- It isn’t fireproof or “indestructible”
- It isn’t worth a damn at the bank.
- It isn’t something that you can live on alone.
- It isn’t something that is fleeting
- It isn’t having all your needs met.
- It isn’t fear of being alone
- It is NOT PERFECT… EVER… NEVER EVER.
All that LOVE IS –
- It is still feeling like racing towards him when you see him down the street
- It is being held when you cry, for as long as you need to and he doesn’t mind tears on his arm
- It is knowing that he knows your favorite anything at any store so you don’t have to always remind or tell him
- It is waking up looking like the Heat Miser and he still thinks you’re beautiful
- It is desperately still wanting to use each other as pillows even when you’re fighting
- It is disregarding that for some reason… he’ll NEVER actually replace the roll of toilet paper ONTO the rollie thingy and just doing it yourself
- It is not being able to get home just to do nothing with him
- It is not having to give ANY BACKSTORIES EVER… because he knows it all… was THERE
- It is knowing you’ve never touched softer skin, held a stronger man or heard a more comforting voice
- It is being completely interested in what the other has to say about the latest episode of Big Love
- It is braving the storms together whether they’re coming in from outside or you cooked them up right in your living room.
- It is doing nothing special… and that being the best thing you’ve ever done.
- It is not having the words to describe this person who is closer to you than any non-blood person has EVER been in all your life… but knowing it feels so good, maybe folks will just know by looking at you.
It is being married for 2 years to one of the most amazing men I’ve known in all my life. Through our ups and downs, swerves and straight paths… I like him… I think I’ll keep him a while longer.
I love you my sweet angel.