In My Solitude…

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In My Solitude…

“In my solitude
You haunt me.
Dear Lord above
Send me back my love”
-Billie Holiday

Well, I’ve been a special kind of alone since I’ve been back from South Carolina. I got back Sunday and Monday night I was taking my husband to the airport for his week long trip to purify himself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka… LOL (he’s in Minneapolis for his Conclave, National Convention). Other friends have gone on vacation. And here I am. My phone hasn’t moved an inch. No buzzing, beeping, ringing, texting… nothing. Just pure silence. I should enjoy the time to myself. But I’ve always been a creature of extremes. And due to that nature, it’s always feast or famine for me. I’m either surrounded by people, or I’m completely alone. And in either turn, I am completely shunning the opposite. My desire for consistency cries out. So right now, it’s yearning to just be left alone, then. I don’t want or need anyone. I can do this alone thing if there’s never any hope of having company. (Yeah, I said it was extreme). But when I’m surrounded by loved ones… I can’t IMAGINE being alone. So… I might decide to do what Sug has so masterfully done in her life. Have many different factions of friends. And don’t let them intermingle. Keep them at safe distance so that when Friend Group 1 may decide to not be around, that’s fine… there’s Friend Groups 2, 3 and 4. But this means that I have to go out and socialize more. *sigh* More? Damn. I’ve spent the greater part of my young adulthood socializing. But… well… one must do what one must do.

While my hubby’s been away, I’ve called my landlady about twice regarding the light timer in our hallway – which managed to be on in the day leaving it off at night and making the hallway unnavigable due to the darkness. The second time I called her she exclaimed that she was glad I called and to please tell her about my Air Conditioner. (Which I’d noticed hadn’t been cooling AS MUCH in the last days). I told her it was a year old… and we installed it in June. She expressed to me that it drips quite a bit of water, and the water has damaged the facade of the building with mildew / mold and now has trickled into my neighbor downstair’s window area, leaving water damage. Originally she asked that I cease using the air conditioner until we purchase a new one (which she’ll share the cost with us for). I told her I suffer from heat exhaustion, so I can’t just NOT use it anymore. So then she offered – “Why don’t you open the windows….” And I said… riiiiight. That goes back to the mosquito problem that we’ve JUST gotten a handle on. So she said to use it intermittently. Don’t leave it on when I go to work. And just make sure that the dripping isn’t overbearing. I gave my neighbor downstairs my phone number so that if the dripping gets crazy, all she has to do is call me – she doesn’t even have to come up the stairs.

Last night I staved off from turning it on till midnight. But all it did was blow cool humid air into the apt. After about a half hour of that, I turned it off, went into the bedroom, positioned my bed directly underneath the downdraft from our ceiling fan and laid there bucket and eventually fell asleep.

*sigh* Shit like this doesn’t happen to other people when I leave for a trip, damnit. EVERYONE had AC. *grumble grumble*



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