The Papal’s Choice

Categories: thinking too much, what in the entire hayle

thanks to kdot for this cute play on words

Okay… so all of this Pope selection stuff, is moving me further away from the Catholic church. I didn’t think it was possible to move FURTHER away after the countless tales of Catholic priests and little boys. But all of this mysticism, 9 day mournings, white smoke – black smoke ballots, secret caucuses, burning of private memoirs, 18 minutes to appearances in the window… HERE IN THE 21st CENTURY… is buggin’ me out. It sounds more like voodoo to me than anything else.

Here’s how the first papal election went down:

Jesus: Hey Peter…
Peter: Yes, Jesus?
Jesus: You’re the rock. And upon you I’ll build my church. Okay?
Peter: Wow… okay… I’ll do my best Jesus.
Jesus: I believe in you.
*apostolic handshake/pound exchanged*

So…. where did we get white smoke black smoke, etc. from? Humans are crazy. We’re always trying to assign this surreal craziness to everything we don’t understand. Trying to miracl-ize everything so that we don’t have to explain it. God made it that way. Yeah? well guess what… he made EVERYTHING. Even the stuff we think we can explain away.

*shaking my head at the human race*



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