So Natural

Everything about this feels … easy.
Loving her.  Caring for her. Being with her.

That’s life.
That’s the life I’ve been waiting for.
Praying for.
And I’ve just eased right in… Like I’ve always been doing this.
And it feels so right and so natural that anything but this?

feels foreign.

Laying there to nap with her and we breathe;
Sitting and cooing with her is instinctual.
Feeding her and feeling her caress my hand
Even the silly grin on her face when it’s time to change her.
All feels like this is where I’ve always belonged.
She knows me better than anyone ever has.
Inside and out.

This is the life.

The one I was waiting for.
I want for nothing more…

Well…

Maybe….

to do it all again next year….

Little one…

Soft sweet rumblings from within
You’re touching me so deeply and don’t even know it yet
Moving about, developing as per God’s plan
Your presence fills me with wonder beyond my limited words
While I never gave up hope to be this person to you
I’m speechless to express how humbled I am to be this way
I thought for so long this love they talked about was mythical
But I see that you have already begun to cast your spell on me
I’m in love with you, little one.

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Lost and Found

Yep, so I let almost a month go by again w/o blogging. I must get better at this. I just kind of let myself get all turned around. In all honestly lately, I haven’t thought half as much about blogging as I should with all the thoughts running through my mind, I should be in front of that computer EVERY DAY trying to talk it out. But the days go by and the thoughts escape me. Problems come and just that quick they dissolve with time or solution and eliminates the need for a blog post about it. Between that and the general passage of time with work, mom stuff and home… well… TD takes a hit. But I think if I can make it in here at least once a month, I’m doing really good (and of course with that being said I’ll either be on here EVERY DAY or not again till next month…)

So to recap the thoughts that have been lost and those that stayed…

Nininne is in town (has been for the last 2 weeks) and I got to see her twice (once more tomorrow before she leaves) and it really was, as always, a breath of fresh air. I love that woman. I flatter myself to think that she’s me in 30 years. No matter what I’ll never have THAT much gumption… She’s really purely built of another fiber. A strong one that barely ever tears or wrinkles but is soft to the touch and wonderfully wearable. The thing that saddened me about her trip… is that she is taking to get away from her husband. *sigh*… the man she’s been with for 27 years… she boldfacedly stated to me that she wishes that she wasn’t married to him anymore. And my Nininne doesn’t make statements like that. Not with out careful analysis and plenty of thought given to the issue. So whatever brought on the most recend disagreement sent her fleeing for her birthday to spend up here with her countless god children (there’s like 20 of us for real – and we ALL own her!) and her daughter and grandkids. She seems happy to be here with us… and of course she looks as fabulous as always. We got together for her birthday party at Monie’s house and it was a perfect night. Not to hot, not too cold, not a cloud in the sky and I miraculously averted being bitten by any bugs LOL. It was such a cool vibe that even Domi enjoyed himself.

Mom has become keen and skilled in the art of driving me insane. LOL. I think now that she’s aware of it and uses it for her amusement. Things seem to be a little too quiet… time to shake it up and make the kids crazy. She was doing great in rehab… we were all excited and then one day they moved her from her luxurious single room with the big flat screen tv to some room at the end of the hall behind God’s back… and she pitched a fit. If she could come home THAT DAY? she would have. But we managed to talk her into staying for another week while we prepared the way for her to come home. In that week, I’m steady having discussions with the social workers in the facility, taking days off to make sure that stuff is set up… and on Tuesday of this week she announces to us that she doesn’t want to come home anymore. She realized that the rehab is going well but she’s in no condition to come home yet and if she does at this point, she’ll be a burden. *insert words I can’t find HERE*

Murried life continues to keep me on my toes. Sometimes you think stuff is really bad… and then… it really isn’t. I can tell that E’s been trying very hard to fulfill my copious requests. I guess I’m just hard to please + jealous + needy. That’s a lot. The Trifecta. LOL. But I’m me… and for my trifecta, everyone else has theirs. Some folks I know are resistant to change + greedy + unrealistic. Others are delusional + pathological liars + crybabies. The combinations go on and on. But there’s someone on the other end that loves their dysfucnctional ass. So I own mine. Can you say the same?
He did surprise the heck out of me yesterday when I came home as he had gone behind my back with the help of one of my Sorors, got the order form and got my AKA membership ID and information and ordered me the limited edition AKA Centennial Barbie Doll. The one that I had just over looked while I was at Boule because I couldn’t afford shit and I wasn’t going to scrape pennies together for it but OH HOW I WANTED MY OWN BARBIE. Well – wish granted, courtesy of the Genie Earl

My Very Own AKA Barbie Doll!

Skeephi.com is back… sort of. LOL I posted a video that got everyone all nostalgic for the old days of the chatroom. So I started a Ning site and in 3 days 70 members swarmed to the site to sign up for their membership and it’s been like old times ever since. Well… not old times… old times reunion with a bunch of grown married folks! Sure is good to see the old gang and know that folks are doing well. Some folks have it in their mind that this is the Skeephi reset and stuff can go back to what it was. Those folks? are gonna get their feelings hurt. I have less tact than back then LOL!!!

Work is showing the slightest sliver of hope – they’re building out our area in the whitespace (finally). Like really building – walls have been erected… electrical lines are being threaded. It’s very exciting. Looking to be in there by October the latest. So I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it’s all we ever hoped for and more.

Finally… Rest in Peace Bernie… I tell you, I’d laugh till I couldn’t breathe sometimes. I won’t say that life is cruel or unusual. Life is life… and this one ends with Death. That’s all there is to understand. But I sure appreciated all he did while he was here.

Bernie the King (viewer discretion advised)

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