On Friday morning, I got a text from a few of my Haitian comrades stating that Rosenberg of the HOT97 morning show had made a statement to the tune of “I’m HIV Negative because I don’t mess with Haitian Girls.” I’ve worked in radio too long to believe these kinds of things at face value. I’d worked at HOT97 too long to believe everything that came across my blackberry or email. I asked my friend if SHE actually heard him say this. She responded, “No, but 3 of her friends heard it and wrote to her immediately.” After making a few calls and asking some well placed questions, the truth came out that something was indeed said – by Cipha Sounds, not Rosenberg. Here’s exactly what went down in that few seconds. K. Foxx was talking about a benefit she attended where they introduced Sir Richard Branson’s new condom, designed to bring awareness and stop the spread of AIDS in Haiti and that she brought them some of the condoms from this function. A quick chuckle and under his breath (but into the microphone) Cipha quips (this is the actual quote people…) “Well, I don’t mess with Haitian girls, so I’m fine”. Immediately his co-hosts reprimand him for being disrespectful, Rosenberg makes a joke about the condoms themselves and everyone moves on.

Now, having worked there for many years and having interacted with Cipha Sounds, I know that he was just doing what he thinks he does best – being the class clown. What he doesn’t realize is how very old and painful a wound he stuck his salty finger in and twisted in that moment. So in case you’re reading, Ciph – here’s why my people are seriously enraged at what seems to only have been “a one-liner”.

Flash back to the 1980s (I’ll do a truncated version because I know how the attention span can go pretty quickly). AIDS awareness is on the rise and is striking fear in many a good red blooded American’s heart. They’re trying to pin the blame for AIDS wherever they can find it. And it seems most logical to pin the source and nexus of the disease on the places that seem to be most heavily affected. Back then, various countries in Africa and my dear homeland, Haiti. It was widespread in the news and media that these were the places to place blame for this scourge ravaging our planet (oh, and Gays. right). Well – who doesn’t believe what’s in the media? Or at least – how much less was it questioned back then. In 1989, I attended St. Francis Preparatory HS (GO TERRIERS) and there was a massive blood drive. 13 years old and excited to do something to help my fellow man, I had my parents sign off on the permission slip and marched proudly into the auditorium where they had me fill out another form before sitting down to submit my donation. The form, in triplicate was about 8 1/2 x 14, mostly demographic information and 2/3rds of the way down the page there was a section that stated “Ethnicity”. First question in that section: “Are you of Haitian Decent?” Me, back then? I PROUDLY checked off “YES”. I was never NOT proud of my heritage. But I was also a little slow on the draw. When I finally got up to the nurses they shared every reason with me why I shouldn’t give blood. “Oh… it looks like you’re coming down with a cold.” “Your blood iron is a little low.” “You seem like you’re feeling under the weather, maybe you should sit this one out.” I almost thought nothing of it until my friend Jean came and told me they said the same thing to him… and a handful of other Nouveau Haitians (1st Gen American Born) stated they got the run around too. Then it made sense to me. We had been “profiled” by that little question on the form. It was so ingrained in the masses minds that we were to blame that it had made it on to a form that designates willful giving to help save lives. I was so hurt, I vowed NEVER to donate blood in this country ever again.

In another instance in my life that burns this sentiment deep in my heart, walking into my building one day, I saw a man talking to someone outside before entering the building. I caught a hint of a familiar accent, but I’d never seen this particular man before. The Haitians in my building were all “family” – everyone watched each others kids. As far as we were concerned, all the kids were “cousins” and the moms and dads were “aunts” and “uncles”. I figured he was coming up to see one of our families. We both got into the elevator alone and as the doors closed, I asked him shyly and with respect “Hello sir, are you Haitian?” His reaction will never leave me. He started to back into the corner…. as if I was going to do something to him. I had to quickly allay his fear, “No, no no…. I’m Haitian too…. I heard your accent…” Immediate relief washed over him and he said ‘Yes! yes I am! Oh, wonderful – where are your parents from, do you speak Kreyol…. ” all the regular parts of the conversations between countrymen.

We weren’t always on Eastern Parkway waving our blue and red on Labor Day (think about it – those of you who’ve been around long enough). For a VERY long time, Haitians on a whole were ASHAMED because what the media had pinned on us and we kept to ourselves. I hate to hear that Haitians only come out now because Wyclef made it cool to be Haitian. We come out now because America’s memory of the pain they inflict is a short term one. And we were finally allowed to just live and be proud of who we are and where we came from.

My post is not directed at Cipha, really. I don’t agree with what he said, but I also don’t believe that he understood the magnitude. My post is more so to those who have reacted with “It was just a joke, get over it.” My question to them is – then when is enough enough? At what point do a people rally against insult and injury? When they start to stone us in the streets? Burn our houses? Bomb our land? Then? Then is it alright to rally together to tell the world, “HEY – STOP IT. WE ARE A PROUD PEOPLE and will NOT stand for your slander.” No. I think this is enough for us to be angry. And now, those of you who read my blog know why. Especially after the year we’ve had. Truly in poor taste to kick a people while they’re down. But… some places have a history of that.

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Yep – it’s been like that!!! Just WONDERFUL that I’ve not even had a chance to say anything to anyone or type up a little narrative. The time here has slowed to a halt. There is more than enough time to do everything. Sleep to our hearts content, wake up EARLY, go and work out, come back to the room, shower, change, have breakfast, get to pool side and lounge for hours at a time while they bring us fresh drinks all the while. Come back upstairs, shower, lounge, watch tv, check email, take a nap. Wake up, get gussied for lunch / dinner or order room service. Truly. Glorious. The sun has been non stop. And when it did rain, we didn’t care or weren’t in it. We’re both dreading coming back a bit. Beyond it being SUPER easy living, waited on hand and foot… anything we want being a phone call away and then just a few minutes wait. Just the synergy. The pure us-ness. The millions of private jokes we’ll take away from this place. How much closer we really managed to get in just 4 of the 5 days and how much closeness awaits. Rediscovering why we got married and surprising our selves with how long we’ve been together when other people on the complex who got married a week ago act less loving.

Of course the trip is not without it’s downfalls – but none so big that we’d focus on them at all. For the sake of documentation, I want you all to know that racism is alive and well LOL!!! Most of the folks here are definitely of the 2520 denominiation and mostly from the deep south (Louisiana, Texas… lots of Texas…). We’ve gotten plenty of sideways glances. One woman, faced with the thought of having to share a pathway with us (walking towards us) damned near ended up in the grass just so she could avoid whatever it was she thought Earl was going to do to her. Conversely there are plenty of nice folks here that are willing to start a conversation at the drop of a dime. It hurts my stomach to think that our presence would “ruin” some of these folks’ time… because them being here makes me feel likewise if that’s the case. We had a few snags with the bank, because obviously, our banks like to be notified when we’re going out of the country. So if purchases are attempted w/o said notification, they just freeze the shit up. But we got past that as well. Just wish we didn’t spend our whole first day worrying. That was one day we could have been living it up . We had a very small problem with some small black jumping bugs (not bed bugs thankfully) that enjoyed our ceiling very much the first full day and a little lizard that enjoyed our closet on the last day. However, Big Brother Terminex was IN EFFECT! Saving me and my sensitivities from any kind of bug that would enter a 3 yard radius of me. And there really weren’t that many, surprisingly for a tropic location.

I got the tan I’d hoped for (well, I’d have LOVED if it was darker, but I think I may be on the brink of burning, so I’ll give it a rest) – but I’m CERTAINLY NOT the same color as I was when I left; Incredible peace of mind knowing that all things at work were buttoned up and taken care of (even though Maxwell came to the station on the 21st… PHOOOEY, but I’ll catch him some other time…) Thoughts of mommy and daddy came and went and I actually smiled and talked them over with E.

Things have been…. Perfect. * sigh *

We’re going to our honeymoon dinner now… don’t be mad if I don’t write again till we’re stateside

No... that isn't me.

There is, at this time in science and technology, only one solution for me if I would like to retain the ability to give birth at some point. That solution is a process called a Myomectomy. For laymen, it’s essentially (for my case) the C-Section and “delivery” of all this…. garbage taking up space and causing discomfort in my womb. It is a major surgery for which I’ll be in the hospital for 3 – 5 days ensuing and will need 6 weeks of serious, no movement, help-me-get-out-of-bed recovery time. For the next 2 months, I’ll be on medication called Depo-Lupron. Lupron in it’s original administration was a medicine administered to prostate cancer patients to help shink the size of the tumor. DP will shrink my fibroids by limiting the blood supply to the tissue (which is what they “feed” on) thus shrinking them and potentially making the surgery a bit easier. Plus side of DP? No more periods while I’m on it — WOO-HOO!!! Downside? Symptoms of menopause complete with hot flashes, night sweats and mood swings . But even the silver lining there is that it’s only temporary. Until they perform the surgery.

Next week, I’m going for a second opinion at a place called The Kofinas Institute, a fertility institution here in Brooklyn that a number of women I know swear by. Ones who had been told it’d be impossible to give birth that are now expecting their 2nd baby. But I’m pretty sure given the circumstances and possible course of action for my case, there’s only one way to go.

So to those of you who thought you may have seen something in my silhouette and were afraid to ask… or even those of you who went so far as to put your hand on my belly and ask, “So when are you due?”

In about 3 months.

And then I can start living again.

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… A dream that will need all the love you can give
Every day of your life, for as long as you live….

-Climb Every Mountain
Rodgers and Hammerstein

I know we’ve seen it a MILLION times… Heard excerpts of the speech throughout our lives. And I can’t help but remember that all the times I’ve watched and heard and read the speech have NEVER moved me so much as it did today. Now, we can chalk it up to me crying at a shiny can of soda lately… but before, I would watch the speech and think… “Sorry for what we’ve done with your dream, Martin…” Thinking about our world, environment, lifestyle and stagnancy (in my opinion). I watched the Boondocks rendition of what they think Martin would say to us today and couldn’t help but agree.

But today… 5 days away from the inauguration of our 44th president… an African-American Man… Well, damnit, I’m all choked up. What undeniable prospect of possibility it’s brought to my heart for our future… What a renewed outlook it’s given me for what’s to come. I’ve never felt so much pride. I’ve never willingly given in to this feeling of HOPE before. It feels amazing. I’m just overwhelmed.

I wanted to share that feeling with you today.

Happy Birthday, Martin.

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The fact of the matter is now… that there is NO WORSE NEWS… than hearing that my mother has passed on from this earth. So I answer my phone with no fear now. I sat in a meeting where they informed us that they let go members of our workforce and the remaining ones would get a 3% pay cut in addition to more expectations as far as work load and expectations. I’ve had to work 2 days non stop from 11 AM – 3 AM to meet a goal at work. *shrugs*

No worse news.

I watched the 30 minute message that Barack gave 2 nights ago on my computer this morning at work (cause I was AT work when he delivered it originally). And I cried. At my desk. He talked about his mom, who died of cancer. And how lonely a process that was for her. And how she never got to meet her grandchildren. And how instead of spending her final days focusing on getting better, she poured over insurance forms from one employer to the next because everyone was pointing fingers at each other about who should pay for her well being. And suddenly, Mr. Barack Obama was truly right with me… where I’d been for the last 10 months. It was all I could do not to sob audibly so as to alert my co workers. But I cried. Good and hard. Because… he really gets it. Sad. Typing this, I get teary eyed because of the way he connected with ME on that message. And I’m in AWE, and AMAZED and SO VERY HOPEFUL. More hopeful than I’ve been in a REALLY LONG TIME about what being an American can mean to me again… And I watched Charles meet Barack. And his elder words of wisdom covered me and reminded me of my mom, my dad and my grandmother. And when he lamented about not being here in 4 or 5 years… his mortality was so real. But his HOPE for the future was STRONGER

McCain winning on Tuesday.

Yeah… that’s actually REALLY bad news…

http://www.voteforchange.com

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If you’ve not seen it – definitely something to make time for. Just hearing these people talk about the Black Experience in America and in the world from their different accomplished points of view made for a very uplifting night. A polar opposite to the “how-unfortunate-are-we” regard from the CNN “Black In America”. Not to say that there wasn’t truth in it, but if you’re telling a story, tell the WHOLE story.

My faves: Toni Morrison (go Soror) on what freedom really means to her; Kareem Adbdul Jabar and his story of meeting and becoming friends with Miles Davis; Chris Rock and the gross exaggerations of White America concerning the Black Experience; Al Sharpton on how we have given the “hip hop” generation nothing to hold on to (you have to hear it, I was QUITE surprised to be in agreement with him); Even Sean Puffy-Pop-P-Diddy-Papa Combs sounded sincere about his “rise” (but I know better than to ever think a sincere word could be uttered by him… it just SOUNDED so).

Biggest Surprise?
This guy right here:

Slash of Guns 'N' Roses fame

One of my favorite guitarists HANDS DOWN. But I always assumed that given the company of his first famous band affiliation, Guns ‘n’ Roses, well… that he was white. But he popped up on The Black List Documentary as one of the first people to offer his commentary and I sat there the whole time like… Slash is black???? REALLY???? But I wasn’t the only one… Contrary to what my co-worker wants me to believe.

Everyone’s a critic!

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So to recap the thoughts that have been lost and those that stayed…

Nininne is in town (has been for the last 2 weeks) and I got to see her twice (once more tomorrow before she leaves) and it really was, as always, a breath of fresh air. I love that woman. I flatter myself to think that she’s me in 30 years. No matter what I’ll never have THAT much gumption… She’s really purely built of another fiber. A strong one that barely ever tears or wrinkles but is soft to the touch and wonderfully wearable. The thing that saddened me about her trip… is that she is taking to get away from her husband. *sigh*… the man she’s been with for 27 years… she boldfacedly stated to me that she wishes that she wasn’t married to him anymore. And my Nininne doesn’t make statements like that. Not with out careful analysis and plenty of thought given to the issue. So whatever brought on the most recend disagreement sent her fleeing for her birthday to spend up here with her countless god children (there’s like 20 of us for real – and we ALL own her!) and her daughter and grandkids. She seems happy to be here with us… and of course she looks as fabulous as always. We got together for her birthday party at Monie’s house and it was a perfect night. Not to hot, not too cold, not a cloud in the sky and I miraculously averted being bitten by any bugs LOL. It was such a cool vibe that even Domi enjoyed himself.

Mom has become keen and skilled in the art of driving me insane. LOL. I think now that she’s aware of it and uses it for her amusement. Things seem to be a little too quiet… time to shake it up and make the kids crazy. She was doing great in rehab… we were all excited and then one day they moved her from her luxurious single room with the big flat screen tv to some room at the end of the hall behind God’s back… and she pitched a fit. If she could come home THAT DAY? she would have. But we managed to talk her into staying for another week while we prepared the way for her to come home. In that week, I’m steady having discussions with the social workers in the facility, taking days off to make sure that stuff is set up… and on Tuesday of this week she announces to us that she doesn’t want to come home anymore. She realized that the rehab is going well but she’s in no condition to come home yet and if she does at this point, she’ll be a burden. *insert words I can’t find HERE*

Murried life continues to keep me on my toes. Sometimes you think stuff is really bad… and then… it really isn’t. I can tell that E’s been trying very hard to fulfill my copious requests. I guess I’m just hard to please + jealous + needy. That’s a lot. The Trifecta. LOL. But I’m me… and for my trifecta, everyone else has theirs. Some folks I know are resistant to change + greedy + unrealistic. Others are delusional + pathological liars + crybabies. The combinations go on and on. But there’s someone on the other end that loves their dysfucnctional ass. So I own mine. Can you say the same?
He did surprise the heck out of me yesterday when I came home as he had gone behind my back with the help of one of my Sorors, got the order form and got my AKA membership ID and information and ordered me the limited edition AKA Centennial Barbie Doll. The one that I had just over looked while I was at Boule because I couldn’t afford shit and I wasn’t going to scrape pennies together for it but OH HOW I WANTED MY OWN BARBIE. Well – wish granted, courtesy of the Genie Earl

My Very Own AKA Barbie Doll!

Skeephi.com is back… sort of. LOL I posted a video that got everyone all nostalgic for the old days of the chatroom. So I started a Ning site and in 3 days 70 members swarmed to the site to sign up for their membership and it’s been like old times ever since. Well… not old times… old times reunion with a bunch of grown married folks! Sure is good to see the old gang and know that folks are doing well. Some folks have it in their mind that this is the Skeephi reset and stuff can go back to what it was. Those folks? are gonna get their feelings hurt. I have less tact than back then LOL!!!

Work is showing the slightest sliver of hope – they’re building out our area in the whitespace (finally). Like really building – walls have been erected… electrical lines are being threaded. It’s very exciting. Looking to be in there by October the latest. So I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it’s all we ever hoped for and more.

Finally… Rest in Peace Bernie… I tell you, I’d laugh till I couldn’t breathe sometimes. I won’t say that life is cruel or unusual. Life is life… and this one ends with Death. That’s all there is to understand. But I sure appreciated all he did while he was here.

Bernie the King (viewer discretion advised)

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