All the validation I need…

All the validation I need..

My cousin Ollie just called me after crossing the stage at Temple University where he graduated with honors, Magna Cum Laude *chills* and wanted to make sure that I knew 1) he shouted ME out and 2) that he saved me a program as a gift. Man. I’m such a sap… I just sat here and cried for like 10 minutes. I’m so unbelieveably proud of him, I have no words. We are now 2 of the first american born lineage of our family to have gone to, and completed college. And he knocked it out of the park. And he says he owes ME. Man… If he only knew how much I owe him.

I feel so much better now. I don’t even feel sick anymore.

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Needy regression

Needy regression

I’m home sick today. And all the grownups that are at work don’t have time to play with me. LMAO! That’s how it feels. Not like I’m not sitting here working my damned self. But everyone seems so otherwise occupied with everything else. I’m just totally out of the loop. OH well. R told me that me being sick is making me ultra sensitive. That’s probably the case. I guess I should go lay down or something.
*Sigh*

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The True Measure of a Man (or Woman)

The True Measure of a Man (or Woman)

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of
comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and
controversy.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

I always try to remember this quote whenever stuff is going wrong. It’s easy to be happy go lucky when stuff is going good. It’s simple to be positive in the face of happy times and simplicity. But where is your head when stuff is going wrong? How positive and confident are you in the face of the unknown? A consistent attitude is so necesssary. I lapsed yesterday. I try to smile in the face of adversity. I try to sing in the Valley. I heard that scripture once when I was in DC with my baby (and we were christening his Godson) and it changed my life. God asked us to sing when we are in the Valley. How opposite to what you feel like doing… Because you just want to cry and wallow in self pity and feel bad and hate everything. But He says sing. So after I spent my day feeling like crap. I started to sing. Stuff is starting to even out. It’s hard. But EVERYTHING is temporary. Good times and Bad times… thankfully for the latter. So I think I’m coming into a good patch right now.

Physically though, I’m totally under the weather. My body is rebelling because I’ve been treating it badly. So it’s rightful that I should be fighting this back. I just hope I don’t get full on sick. Cause I really want to be in good shape for Vernie’s wedding. (at least health wise…. unfortunately I’m the branded “big girl bridesmaid” for her wedding. But hey… I wear that shit with class.)

Fbomb

I have to make a mental note that the word “fuck” followed by the word “you” pointed at my bestfriend Max has to not be used if I’d like her to continue to be my bestfriend. There are certain buzz words that tick us all off. Here is my list:

dummy (for me… that’s the WORST thing you can call someone… don’t ask me why)
should’ve / could’ve / would’ve – especially after a bad situation goes down. I HATE to do the hindsight is 20/20 crap. “Well you should’ve done this this way.” My response: Suck my ass.
c*nt – it’s just a dirty word. And I usually LIKE dirty words… but that one is just unnecessary.
bitch – if you don’t really know me, i can’t accept you calling me that. One of my coworkers tries to get over by calling me that. I had to put the kaibosh on that IMMEDIATE style.

I guess that’s it. But my mental note has been made. No more f-bombs. She’s got 3 on me. I have to find a way to reverse that.

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Feast

Feast

Okay… so it’s been a 3 blog day. You know what that means. I just couldn’t relate. I couldn’t relate… I had to get in there and mix it up… *Sigh* I LOVE that little cartoon. For those that are clueless, please watch this film: StrongBad Email (gotta watch it through to the end). I was told this was techie humor… but it’s really just for silly people. Hence… why I love them so much *sigh*

Anways… tri-blog means that I couldn’t deal. And when I can’t deal, it’s always best to let Superman handle the job. And he did. Scooped me up from work, took me to a stupid movie… we laughed at it and each other and talked about the future and whether or not we want the kids to have bunk beds… which brought back great memories of my childhood. He took me to get some zinc drops for the stupid tickle in my throat… and dropped me off at my doorstep. Kissed my boo boo and made it better. It’s what he does. *Sigh* (that was a good one).

So now I’m home with… 5 IM windows open (EGADS!) which is like… totally 1999 of me. And also, the opposite of the famine I was experiencing earlier this week. I guess I’ll bask in it while it’s here. Good update: my design skill is getting honed in on a little. Just a tad sleeker… K-dot has complimented me TWICE in as many weeks. It’s HUGE to be validated by a mentor. It’s a shame I didn’t use him more. He’s a wealth of knowledge. Now if we can just get the right cocktail mix of Ritalin, Percocet, Lithium, and Claritin… he might be happy LMAO!!! (I know you’re reading K… just joking… sort of….)

Okay… off to chat a while longer before I make myself go to sleep.

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Shittacious

Shittacious

I’m having a shittacious day. For many reasons that I cannot even begin to elaborate on. Most of them having to do with Money. Recitification… the issues with money pushed me down the slippery slope of shittaciousness today. Just when I think I have my finances under control and shit is paid off… And SHAZZZAAAAAAM… no bitch. The fuck u thinkin? You ain’t caught up on SHIT. As a matter of fact… (this is circumstance speaking) lemme put your shit in the negative and let you dig out. Or hide from your checking account for the next week till you get paid. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. I’m NOT happy. I just needed to not wake up today. Why’d I bother?

At this time in my shittacious blog, I’d like to give a shout to my friend Max. Who for the last few weeks I’ve been thinking of her and shaking my head thinking… That’s my dawg for real. Not that this is a new discovery… but I realized I had been holding her at a bit of arms length for a while. And if something was happening, I’d not tell her or just keep it to myself for fear of dragging her down. But I find when I do tell her (if I can get past her starting with her own story in the middle of my explanation or if I can happen to keep her attention when she’s at work (jokes))… she is super fantastically helpful. Just sitting on the phone with her and both of us working made me feel for a few moments, less shittacious. I ALMOST forgot why I felt so bad to begin with. So thank you to my Maxnificat for saving the day again!

My girl R has been holdin’ it down for me too. Even though I’m annoyed at how much emotion she feels reading this blog. Like… I ruin her day and stuff. You can’t be doing that anymore, R. Makes me curtail what I write… and I can’t afford for my one sanity outlet to be abridged / censored. (((HUGS))) to you… but please don’t let my shittaciousness ruin your day.

Oh well… going to go wallow in my own self pity some more.

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