Day II: Our day off

Day II: Our day off

This was the day that was slated for us to spend on our own, just doing our own thing. At the rehearsal dinner the night before many different plans were discussed… some people wanted to go shopping; some wanted to go to the beach; others still wanted to go get beautified. I remembered putting my name down on all those lists ending the conversation with a “please call me and let me know what your doing. When I rolled over in the bed at 10:00 AM and looked at thei inactivity of my phone I figured one of two things: they forgot to call or they just didn’t want me there. I gave it the benefit of the doubt and placed a few calls. I got a lot of, “Oh mama, we didn’t know you wanted to come with us” or “We figured you and Earl were doing your own thing” or “I went with so & so because I didn’t want to be a third wheel to you and Earl.” Well, by about the 5th phone call, I’d had enough of all of that. Fine. No one wanted to be our “third leg” “third wheel” “barnacle on our ship” etc. Even though we go out of our way to NEVER make folks feel that way. I was brooding for a second when my baby pulled me out of it. “Maybe this is God’s way of having us spend time together, alone. Let’s enjoy it.” He was right. So we suited up and went to have breakfast, found all the malls in WPB, went sight seeing and just basically had a bang up time. Around 3:30, we went to Amtrak to pick up my #3 Bertie. Then we picked up her rental which was this Lincoln Signature… HUGE car. Lots of amenities. Earl insisted that we drove that around and Bert got a chance to lounge in the back as we chauffered her around to malls and to dinner.

We came out of the Garden Mall and it was more humid than when we went in. We stared at the sky and there were many lightning shows going on in isolated clouds. Bertie and I were excited about it and just stared at the lightning passing over the pillows in the sky. Never having it dawn on us that it meant an impending storm. We figured, the storm had passed while we were inside. Or maybe it was just lightning, no rain. Because there was no thunder, it wasn’t really a stretch for me to believe. As we drove along we made plans to hook up with everyone else for dinner at Olive Garden. While we waited for Berts to come back from the hotel after changing, it started to rain a little. Then a lot. Then so much that the words “Oh man, I can’t see” came out of my baby’s mouth when he was driving. I’ve NEVER heard him say that so it became cause for me to panic. We were, in moments, driving through a river. It was torrential. We saw other cars getting into accidents. We were pretty scared. But my baby’s masterful carefullness got us out unscathed. We got to the Olive Garden and took 5 steps from the car to the door… and got DRENCHED. It was like we took a quick shower before we came in. But we were out in the rain for a heart beat.

We ultimately met up with everyone else and were seated for dinner where our server showed her ASS. She had like… some kind of developmental disability. We wanted to separate the checks: she had such a hard time understanding who was on whos check. The orders were taken really slow. We aged about 5 years waiting for our drinks to come out. And when they did come out they were wrong / made badly / old (like they had been sitting on the bar waiting for her slow ass for like… 2 days). Dony had the Chocolate Almond Amore and I had the Frozen Tiramisu. By the time we got them all the whipped cream was all melted to the side, the drink itself was separating in the glass… it was JUST GROSS looking. I didn’t even get my little biscotti that i love so much. Then… when setting it down, she put the CAA in front of me and gave Dony the FT… I said to her… that order is reversed. Her response? “Oh… I don’t drink… I don’t knwo what those look like.” HUH???? I mean… you’re just a waitress here. God Forbid anyone should hold you to actually knowing what the stuff looks like. Anyways, eventually, the manager was alerted – but not before homegirl came out and asked us to be considerate of her because she hasn’t been at this job for 9 months yet and is working parttime as a receptionist and learning to speak French. Um… right. But you’re not receiving calls her Nor are you speaking french.. so NONE of that is helping YOUR tip right now. The manager came and gave us significant discounts off of what we orderd and we were off to pick up my #2 Teresa from the airport.

Upon picking her up and seeing that she looks more now like she did when I first met her than ever (Super long hair, kind of a boho look to her… very cute) we whisked her off to Chanda’s parent’s home which was not far at all from Breakers West (where the wedding was to be held). We dropped her off, came back to the hotel room where I showered, washed my hair called up Bertie so she could roller set my hair. While she did that we watched a HORRIBLE show. I’d never seen it before and honestly, I probably would have done better never to see it. It’s called Cheaters. Totally not a show I should ever watch again. It was basically a show where if you suspect your lover is cheating, they send a team to follow the person around, get video tape and audio on their interactions, then you roll up in a white van at one of the rendezvous points and confront them. MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN… When they showed the video of one dude just completely living another life with his next chick… walking around holding hands, kissing, going to bridal salons and looking at rings together (I’m talking about… this is THE OTHER WOMAN)… I broke out in tears. That shit is crazy. Living a dual life. Those hurts are fresh for me still. And I imagine they will be for a long time. My baby, puzzled, comforted me and assured me that this is the present… and he’s not the other cats. Fair enough. But I just don’t need to watch that show anymore. He fell asleep while we continued the beautification, watched a bit of Jerry Springer… and then Berts (once she was done) left, and I assumed the position under the bonnet dryer that I borrowed from Vernie to complete the process.

After drying for an hour, I laid next to my baby in the “I have rollers in my hair and cannot afford to shift them around by laying on them so I’ll be uncomfortable all night” stance. And drifted off to sleep.

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The Trip Down the Aisle

The Trip Down the Aisle

Not my trip literally, but all the makings of Lavern & Andrew’s Wedding. We made it. It’s over, they’re married and happy and it was all beautiful. I meant to blog day after day, but never got around to it, so now, the abridged version:

Day 1: Getting to Florida
We booked our flights on Delta (yes I said flights. At the time I bought them, unless I wanted to pay 500 bucks per person, we were connecting at least once. And we did… once in ATL going and coming). So bright and early on Friday morning, my baby came to meet me so that we could head off and get to the airport. All of that went smoothly. First leg was no problem. Managed to get someone to switch seats with me so that I could sit with my baby. It is the little things that make me giddy, because that just set my mood for the rest of the day. Second leg was equally good. Got us seated together (the flights were so packed that when I originally booked them, the seating was bananas). We got one of those exit seats so there was plenty leg room. My baby had the window and I had the center seat.

The West Palm Beach leg was packed with white folks. Nary a brown face to be found, which gave me a pretty clear indicator of who all was in WPB. So this white man sits next to me. Looks young-ish. Not too much younger than I but definitely NOT older. I over hear him talking to his friend across the aisle about their exploits in ROTC, fire arms, different kinds of planes … before I drift to sleep on my baby’s arm. We wake up just in time for snacks to be served when the same young gentleman explains that he didn’t want to wake us cause we looked so peaceful. So they served our “food” and I whipped out one of my trusty wedding mags for entertainment and flipped through it with my baby. The gentleman speaks again asking us if we’re getting married and launching off into story upon story upon story of friends and frat of his that got married and had bachelor parties… etc. This guy was really trying to talk to someone, so I figured I’d listen. He wasn’t rude, just garrulous. He thanked me for listening to him half way through it all and explained that he was just trying to stay up because if he fell asleep now, he’d crash through the whole weekend. He said, “Besides, we’re all Greek here.” I looked at his cap – TKE. Cool! I was familiar with them from campus. He told us that there were AKAs and Kappas on his campus too. And he went off on stories about his frat and how things have changed, etc. Finally he introduces himself. Robert Kennedy. “Nicely done,” was my response. I gave just our first names (cause I can’t be bothered with the butchering of my last name.” He’s an engineer from Alabama, 27 years old, well mannered, well spoken, really cute (Clink, I found someone for u… LMAO!) and my baby SWEARS he was trying to kick it to me. Pashaw. No such thing. I was just trying to stay up too.

So we get out at WPB and claim our SUV just in time for us to check into the hotel, take a 5 minute shower, RUSH out to the rehearsal, run through the wedding one time then over to Vernie’s new house for dinner. Her house was breathtaking. High ceilings, a pool in the backyard, dual vanities in the main bedroom, walk in closets, just gorgeous. Most of all what left a deep impression on me was her interaction with her sisters. I forget sometimes the family that folks have when they’ve moved away from them. Vernie had been away from them for a long time living up in NY. And until that day, I had not met any of them. I met them all this weekend, and I can TOTALLY understand now why she left. That is family. The folks she grew up with and struggled with and loved unconditionally. And now was her opportunity to be closer to them and be a part of them raising their families. So she snatched it up, packed her bag and headed south. I don’t blame her one bit. It’s hard to live without those ties in your life. After the dinner, it was back to the hotel to unwind and relax for Day II

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Cheese Fries and Red Wine

Cheese Fries and Red Wine

This here is the reason I’ll never lose any significant amounts of weight and be able to KEEP it off. Because I whole heartely enjoy good tasting things. And they whole heartedly would like to stick to my inner thighs and buttocks and gut for the rest of my days. *sigh* Anyhow, this was the snack that my brother and I went out to eat the day before last at Deborah’s, our absolute favorite restaurant while we discussed my preoccupation with how to make my brother’s life less miserable. I love my brother deeply. We’ve always been a unit. I can’t ever truly say that I’m alone and mean it. As a matter of fact… I only RECENTLY imagined for a fleeting moment, life without Domi. Unfathomable. I was born, luckily, with the absolute best friend I’d ever have in the world having made way for me 4 years earlier. I realize it’s not the standard case with most siblings and that fact makes our friendship even more valuable to me. However… much to my chagrin… my brother is absolutely miserable. He’s terribly lonely, feels like his life is in a rut, can’t get out of this dead end job… and the coup de grace… he is unwilling to do anything about it. Thus he’s a floating cloud of pending hopelessness. And the haitian guilt monster trapped in my head has said, how can you go carving out your own happily ever after when your brother is lonely and miserable?? So I preoccupy my life with thoughts of how to make him happier. What path he could take to increase his luck, willingness to live, excitement about being here on the earth, making the best of this situation? And more futility: when I think I’ve found him the perfect path, I either have to manually walk it for him, or he pu pu’s it and gives list upon list upon list of excuses why he “can’t” do it. Frustrating as hell. I still want him to be happy though.

Today was meeting after meeting after meeting. Subject: Life with out K-dot and how it’s been. Mostly everyone had the same kind of reaction to him leaving and wanting to know how I was feeling (maybe because they want to be sure that I wasn’t drafting my resignation letter yet. Althought I’d like to be. All of the souls around me ascending (mj and kdot to name 2) and me stuck where I am seemingly for ever… not a happy feeling. Stagnation at it’s worst.

It’s really late, but I wanted to make some semblance of a post. I must do laundry tonight so that I can get on that plane in the morning. *yawn*

I love life. I do.

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Recap…

Recap…

Okay… i’m dealing with a lot right now. I will try to compartmentalize as much as possible so that I can get it all out on paper before I make myself insane.

Call it Quits

Okay… so kDot quit yesterday. I’m only using the “q” word because it is shorter – but he resigned. And quite stylishly. He got to send out his own email announcing it… got to walk around and say bye to everyone… and he left on his own terms… at least yesterday. He would have never left if he was happy. But he was very UN happy and it was apparant. Overtly apparant. So for a few seconds… I felt like November 2003 again when he walked out and I realized he wasn’t coming back. At least the office wasn’t that bright again… There was a … brightness where the light was permeating places where there was stuff before. But there was so much less stuff…because everyone was gone. Somehow we managed to do what was needed today without any major breakdowns. So we’ll have to see how the rest of the weeks go. They’ve said they’re going to “look for his replacement” but who knows how long that will take. and I’m not too inclined to trust whoever it is. Time will have to tell

Countdown to Unity

Vernie’s wedding is Sunday coming. I’m too excited about it. I can’t wait to see her go down the aisle. I hope that she’s not too stressed. I spoke to her today and she is… but I told her how envious I am of her. How I’d LOVE for it to be me in her position now. Just a few days away from the beginning of my new life. She’s enviosu of me and how much time I have to plan our day. Human nature, huh? Never satisfied with what you have. She’s put me in charge of a couple of things for her and I like how it empowers me to feel like I’m helping her out, rather than sitting here in NY waiting to fly to Florida and just stand in her wedding with a pretty dress on. So I am in charge of her 1) program 2) makeup maintenance the day of 3) her emergency kit for the day. I better get crackalakin’.

Good Love

I spent some of my weekend with my baby. I’m happy to report that we spent really good quality time just hanging together. He was in rare form on Sunday. And that’s all I’ll say about that *wink*. Just hope he’s not stringing me out till another month or two. But I enjoy his company so much. I can’t ever seem to get enough. He was really in a bad way on Friday. He heard back from the Teaching Fellows program that he applied / interviewed for and they turned him down. He wasn’t so much upset about THAT particular opportunity turning him down as he was about feeling trapped at the jail. He wants out and bad. Bad enough for him to badmouth God for a quick sec, calling Him a “prankster / joker who is playing with our lives and doesn’t really care.” Mannnn… he might as well have been talking about my moms the way I got upset at that. I gave him a half hour sermon about God’s Love and unconditional support. I didn’t know I had that in me. But it showed itself Saturday. He saw the error of his ways in saying that. I hope I can convince him to trust in the Lord more. I’m not a big religious freak or an evangelist of any kind… but I trust whole heartedly in the will of God. I’ve seen his hand in my life too many times to deny it. He has ALWAYS been there for me… and sometimes I had to see it in hindsight. The equally yoked thing is going to be a hurdle for us to surmount, but we will. I’m sure of it.

Showers

The Saturday before last we showered my Vernie for her up coming wedding. This past Saturday we showered one of my ug Chapter Sorors, Loretta, who is having a little precious baby boy. Her story gives me faith and strength. She wasn’t supposed to be able to bear a child. And here she is… a month and some away from giving birth to life. That HAS to inspire me. My parents were cleaning out the fridge on Saturday and found my reminder from God. It was a good reminder to me… that I promised not to despair. Even when things seem hopeless. God’s got this.

More later…

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Lord…

Lord,

Make me an instrument of your Peace!
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is discord, harmony.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sorrow, joy.

Oh Divine Master, grant that I may not
so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

I need you today…

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