Art

Art

There is something to be said for acknowledging that you have a gift that you’d share with others. Because it stops you from really being able to do much else but display that gift. A few times, that genius finds a hard time living in the same body as sanity and thusly… the prodigies that WIL’ OUT. Their gift is undeniable, but the balance has to be them acting a fool. It makes me appreciate the artists that manage to be amazing… and keep their heads on this earth. While driving around Bedford Stuyvesant today looking at possible houses with my baby, we turned up the corner of a half street to look at one. We over shot it by a few meters… so we started to back up. When we cleared a white SUV that was now in front of us… a young man crossed the street and motioned to me as if to say, “Did you want this spot? Cause I’m getting out.” What came through most in his motion was just the niceness of it. Cause really… New Yorkers can suck REALLY BAD sometimes. I smiled and waved no to him. And my baby says, “Isn’t that the Gza?” “Nooo, ” I said when I craned my neck forward to get a better look. “Oh wow… that IS him.” The Gza… my favorite member of the Wu Tang Clan (ain’t nuttin’ to fuck wit’) was calmly and casually getting into a white SUV… not terribly blinged out and maybe could have even used a wash, right there on a typical Brooklyn street. “I respect that,” my baby said. Yeah… so do I. I mean who knows what he was doing, really… but he was just as regular as the rest of us, but manages to wield his gift with agilty, somehow concoct poetry and prose with ghetto fabulous expressions of self. Witty, Unpredictable.

We’re having an Incredible night… meaning… he’s sleeping while I watch ALL the aspects of Discs one AND two of the Incredibles. *sigh* Typical Friday for the once socialest of butterflies. More waiting on what’s wrong with him. He went in for an MRI today. He’s on muscle relaxers and they’ve relaxed them all… even the one between his ears. So sleep is priority #1. I think I’ll join him.

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Gotta Get Up

Gotta Get Up

What does a lion tamer bring into the cage with him? A whip, a chair and a tranquilizer gun. Why the chair? Because when you hold up the chair, the lion tries to see and focus on all four legs at the same time, and that paralyzes the lion because he can’t focus.

The universe is a lion tamer and I’m the lioness, trapped in the cage, trying to take it all in. Life is giving me a serious run for my money as of late. We know the leg of family is one focus and the wrongs with that. The leg of work gets progressively worse. The leg of my love and future is starting down a new path that I wasn’t expecting. Something might be seriously wrong with my baby. I pray that he’s okay and not what he thinks it might be. He has a dr’s appointment today that I was supposed to skip work to go and try to be with him in case he gets bad news. But of course… the worsening of my work situation made it impossible for me to leave. One day I’ll be able to explain it all. But right now, my prayers are steadfast. There aren’t many choices for me to pray for. Just that he’s okay and whatever it is… that we make it through. Then of course the much neglected leg of self. So neglected… I can’t even list what’s wrong. and just the attempt to try to focus on it all, removes the focus from other 3. And I am paralyzed. Just waiting for something to happen. I hear the bellow of the wind over the horizon. It’s coming… I can see it. I just hope I’m ready.

I did NOT want to wake up this morning. For once, my bed was feeling so good to me. The warmth of the sheets against my skin… the quiet hum of my fan. It was perfect. I might have still been in it to now if it was possible. And that’s so unlike me.

But here I am. fighting the good fight. Every day promises to be a good one. And I guess if you are bold enough to live through it… it is.

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