Lost Poetry

Lost Poetry

I’ve been clearing off my computer at work, for obvious reasons. And I stumbled across some poetry that i jotted down in notepad so that i wouldn’t lose the thoughts. I liked some of them, so i’ll post. I have no real dates and times when they were written, so i’ll note them with the date of when I found them. Lots of questions. Not half as many answers, it seems.

how do i?

how do I reposess the time
how do I close my eyes and find
the passage to you when it doesn’t exist.
how can I decide to die another death
when true living i only experience
in your other life
the one that no one sees
but one second in that world
purer and more precious than
those of this.
The wound i played in
one part pleasure and 2 parts agony
has gangreened and remits no sensation
making me believe that
i am this two dimensional
fictional
unidirectional character
divised for your pleasure
and my own demise.
how find myself grasping for
the gateway
the progression back to your heart
but it exists not
and neither do i.

10/23/2003 5:21PM


How Do You Know…
… when you’re falling out of love? are there signs? Or does it just hit you one day… like a stack of bricks to the temple…? How long do you wait to really be sure that it’s “out-of-love”-ness… and not just a bad day? How do you determine if the nerve endings are just sleeping and not dead… and that’s why you don’t TINGLE anymore when he touches you? How do you figure the difference between “love” and “newness”… the flutters of inexperience versus the butterfly wings of destiny? When and where do you find that line in the sand and cross over from lust to dedication? What are the measures of the wealth of the heart; Its units and degrees? How does one use these to calibrate their minds in preparedness for love? And more importantly… how does one know when this process is necessary? or not?

4/29/2002 7:18PM

more later…
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Effortless

Effortless

I make things really easy for people. Just in life in general. I don’t understand the concept of complicating ANYTHING for ANYONE. Life is complicated enough… we have enough folks roaming the earth who want to be all enigmatic and mysterious for me to add another one to the list. I am the point of least resistance in almost all cases. Wanna go here? Okay. There instead? Fine. Wear this on my head? Cool. Dance a jig down the street. Dancin’. I’m down for whatever most of the time. And when I’m not, I’m just not and I make it clear so that folks never suggest it to me again. I adore decisiveness. I’m not typically wishy washy or whimsical. If I make my mind up about something, I’m of one mind for the most part. Leading is no big thing to me because I don’t mind folks following me… but I make a decision and that’s it for me; whoever is coming along… let’s go. If i’m in the lead, those behind me rarely have to think too hard. Options are presented, pros and cons are weighed and based on factual information, a decision is made. Why mess with a working formula?

But then I realized something when I was talking to someone about the acquisition of something desired the other day:

That explains a lot. Maybe I do need to rethink my strategy.

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