Soul:Transferrable

Soul:Transferrable

i was having a conversation with my brother the other day about the make up of the soul and what it does… how it serves a function for us all. i wonder a lot if it’s predetermined. i have a strong sense of belief in reincarnation. i do think that we’ve been here (not necessarily here on earth) before and we’ll come back again one day as someone or something else to try it out from a different perspective. the thing i wonder about the soul is… is the personality embodied? will my soul be this same kind of person when i come back as someone else. (if i come back as a person at all?) will i be just as philanthropic and sensitive and aware of others as i am in this shell… or might i be a little less caring? a little braver?

quick aside… i remember watching the secrets of the yaya sisterhood (i know…i was stuck on a bus i had no choice) and in one scene, the mother says to her daughter “i used to pray to God to make me stronger, smarter, wittier, more beautiful, more resilient… better. and he did… he gave me you” (i’m paraphrasing of course — and was the ONLY line of the movie to make me really think) but maybe that’s how my soul comes back differently. but then we get into this whole layers of existence thing where…the soul that is borne in my child is someone elses recycled soul… etc etc… off of the point.

if i had any say in the matter, which i know i won’t (or i might have, if in living this life there were determinants of who i’ll become) i’d like to be a little braver; a lot more resilient; just as caring – but less gullible; a little quicker with my mind; a bit wiser with my time. i think those things will make for a better spirit and a well lived life. i wonder if my soul has a name…

of all days to look at my ring, i caught a glimpse of it while toiling away today. it’s simply brilliant. i’ve never really seen anything like it (but then again, i never owned anything like it to be able to gaze on it that long). but i just stare into it and wonder all sorts of things. like… probably in another galaxy, it’s like… worth nothing to them. just a rock. maybe diamonds are their gravel and they put pieces of salt in their jewelry… maybe they put more value in the unseen than the tangible. but i’m living here on earth; now in 2005. and this is very beautiful. and precious to me if it’s not to anyone else. never mind the fact that it’s the single most expensive thing i’ve ever owned (not including my education – again with the intangible worth). it’s symbolism alone weighs more than any gold.

Relax

I’m feeling pretty good this morning. I actually got to sleep before 2 am last night which is such a rarity for me these days. Since I quit the cancer sticks, I’ve been having to let my body decide when I’m ready to sleep. Not me deciding and then smoking myself into oblivion. Yesterday was the first time I did consider buying a pack. I was nervous about something. But I was able to overcome that fear fast enough to get it in check. I’ve been pretty good with it. Plus my cough is still not 100 percent all the way gone, so compounding it with some smoke is not the way for me right now.

I need to get in to a doctor soon. I have to get my physical and see what my status is. I have 2 friends who’ve come back in this year already with reports of heightened numbers and it makes me uncomfortable. I mean… my body doesn’t suggest it, but I don’t eat like crazy and I’m not constantly sticking my face into a deep fryer and bobbing for chicken. I eat fairly consciously and don’t try to over stuff myself. I hope that my numbers reflect that. I got a call from V last night and she’s having a time. Something cardiac related and she had to go have an operation to get things checked out. And now she’s bed ridden for 7 days. It’ll be good for her to sit still… she just really doesn’t need to be having to sit still for this reason. Umma pray for her. Better yet, I’ll go visit her later today if I have a chance.

Okay… time to get dressed and hit the street

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