Negligence is Bliss

Negligence is Bliss

I’ve been so not keeping up with my blog. I’m on vacation in more ways than one. I’m really enjoying these days off. I look in the mirror and feel like I look younger. I’ve been cleaning my room to the core, truly throwing things away that I dont’ need and organizing the things I keep. Found a MESS of my poems from… (get this) the 6th grade. HILARIOUS!!! I was too deep for a kid. I needed to lighten up! Spending some quality time with the family and just overall sleeping as late as I want and waking up feeling refreshed. I have so much to catch up on but I don’t know if I have the patience to do it all right now. I took some pictures last week that I really like… here they are:

The ways he makes me happy are boundless.

I got at letter in the mail from the US Dept of Education that made me jump for joy:

I will most CERTAINLY call!! *woohoo!* So much for me not being good marriage material. I’m on the road now! Funny because I was on the phone with the agent that I was making the final payment to and he said “So, Victoria… why aren’t you married yet?” and I said to him “because YOU have to call me every month!!” and he said… “Well… not anymore ” Yeaaaaahhhh baby!!

Had a good turn out at the BGLO Family Reunion. I’m really happy about it. And my baby made good on his promise to not hurt himself. Yaaay! And I get to go away with him this weekend. Much to do before then, though… and sleep is needed…

*

Rememberance

Rememberance

I had a moment this morning while I was getting ready for work that I felt I should blog. I don’t believe I have any recollection of this man on paper in my files, but I’ll go ahead and put it down now. I remember getting ready to graduate from college and I got a phone call in my dorm room. It was Bomani. This guy who I used to see on campus just walking around, studying hard; he’d support all the black org. events on campus. I even think he was next in line for BSO president. I didn’t even know he had my number. But I thought I’d be nice to him anyway… I didn’t have reason not to be.

Bomani: Hey Victoria. I called you to say congratulations on graduating. It’s a huge accomplishment!

Me: Gee, Bomani, that’s really sweet! Thank you very much. You didn’t have to call!

Bomani: Yes I did. You know… we pass through each others lives on this world, and we don’t take time to notice each other. We take our lives for granted. I just didn’t want to let that opportunity pass me to tell you that I’ve noticed you and I’m proud of you. (cheerfully) Keep doing what you do!

Me:…. Gosh… thank you Bomani… I…. really appreciate that.

Bomani: Okay… well, gotta run. Hope to see you soon! Bye!

Me: Okay! Take care!

His saying that to me affected me so deeply that I went out of my way to participate in his life. Just because he made me aware that we should. I’d come to the events he had on campus as BSO pres. I’d call him every so often. And everytime I’d see him in the street or in the hallway, I’d greet him with a wonderful hug. Bomani died of cancer in February of 1997. A year after I graduated. He knew. But I didn’t. And even now, choking back tears, I’m honored that he reached out to me. Because he didn’t have to. So, I remember him today and remember that not for fear of death should we take part in people’s lives, but in recognition of the beauty that they may bring to us that we may be forsaking ourselves of by keeping to ourselves.

I hung out with my Max last night. We drank Pina Coladas and hung out at BBQs just laughing and talking and watching a near Mike Tyson style fight happen right out side between two big people having a lover’s quarrel. It was entertaining. I can’t take pity, because either one of them had the opportunity to walk away when they wanted. But they WANTED us to have front row to a Jerry Springer show in the making. So we indulged them complete with “OOOOHhhhhs” and “DAYUMMMMS” and “AAAAHHHHs” when the punches flew. All that was missing was the chanting… JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!… which I tried to start but it wasn’t happening. Then my baby came and scooped us up and took us home. He’s magnificent.

Today is quiet. Keith opened my eyes to this person’s photoblog: BlueJake. He’s ill. His stuff makes you wanna go out and take pictures. This guy is ill, as well: Satan’s Laundromat

I also started my photo album of all my past exploits in the land of AKA (and APhiA) here. Funny to see where I’ve gone since. *sigh* I won’t lament on the good times LMAO!!!

*

Many Random Thoughts

Many Random Thoughts

Today was a simply BEAUTIFUL day. The sky was SO blue. I find myself comparing the blueness of the sky to how blue it was on 9/11/01. I remember waking up and thinking the sky was inexplicably blue. What a ghastly day… for such PERFECT sky and weather. But what today’s blue was also phenomenal for was a day in the park listening to (and taking pictures of) life music. I sincerely feel like I’ve missed my calling. I simply love music too much not to be a part of it. But I’m only observing it; trying hard to translate it into web for folks to digest.

But the sky was wonderful, and the trees were showing off the last bits of their green. I passed some trees yesterday in my neighborhood who brought the signs of fall coming closer with browned rims to leaves and weak stems creating a snow of them. But the trees and the grass in this park were in full summer style and the half moon couldn’t help but be a part of this daytime scenery casting it’s laser cut impression on the midday sky.

In watching live musicians today I just really remember what it was like to be part of the band making the music and how amazing the music itself would make us feel. Then I was kind of jolted by the harsh reality of most musicians today… as the keyboardist from one group came off the stage and I stood back stage to get a photo-op, I began to express to him how amazing his skill was and I caught a glimpse of how red his eyes were and how spaced out he looked. I cut my compliments short and later on while wandering backstage, the odor of ganja and cheap bodega incence permeated the area. I figured maybe they were all high. Somehow, I feel like one high may cancel the other out. I’d rather feel the music with no chaser.

I also got an opportunity to watch india.arie perform live and up close. She was wonderful. It was exciting enough for me to offer up a silent, familiar prayer that I’m in the line of work that I’m in and it happened to get me closer to this industry. I think I wouldn’t enjoy being a regular old webmaster who’s just designing all day and never really interacting with music and people. It’s fun. It’s me. Anyway, she didn’t perform “Beautiful” which I had hoped she would, she did perform “Brown Skin” which never ceases to call one memory to mind. One of a sunfilled Saturday bedroom laying in the arms of a lover. Music playing on the cd player and no particular rush moving us out of our position. And as we begin our movements again, that song comes on and a mutual realization that she was talking about us came to us at the same time. “Brown skin… talkin’ bout your brown skin… I can’t tell where yours begins… I can’t tell where mine ends…” But I looked and really saw that in that light at that time our skin was exactly the same color… and for no reason at all, it heightened everything I felt. Not to love, but to whatever is shortly before love… it’s nice when I start to think of it. And then I remember it’s totally the past. But the memory, although the future of that stunted, was a good one.

My bed is looking extra good to me tonight. I think I’ll indulge.

morethought tomorrow.

*

Blessings

Blessings

I’m counting many blessings today because I should.

I’m blessed with a family that loves me and cares for me despite what I may do.

I’m blessed with a mother that was hand picked from the angels and sent to me.

I’m blessed with a brother was not only NEVER antagonizing, but uplifting and quite possible the best friend I’ve ever had.

I’m blessed to have food in my mouth and a roof over my head.

I’m blessed with real friends like Max, Sug, Vernie, AP who are with me silently (or maybe no so… ) through thick and thin.

I’m blessed with having found a love and a friend in my baby who never tires of me, always supports me and inspires me still.

I’m blessed for having had the experiences in life that at the time may not have been so sweet, but were instrumental in making me realize the goodness of the little things I have.

I’m blessed for ever having known my granny.

I’m blessed for waking up this morning.

I’m blessed for good health (until a dr. tells me otherise… )

I AM BLESSED FOR THIS DAY.

With that said… Ihave to g work out in the rain taking many pictures of folks I dont’ really like or care about, but it’s part of my job. So I’ve counted my blessings … and hope today isn’t so bad.

*

Life

Life

The last few days have been strange with their twist of life, happiness, love, contentment, sadness and death. Work has been unusually difficult for me to get my mind through. Although, I always say it’s unusual. But I manage to find a way through it. But my brain is muddling through it all. I got to spend some quality time with my baby last night. And I was rocked to sleep… and awoken in the morning. Sometimes you get more than you asked for and it’s a wonderful thing! I’m so glad that I had an opportunity to spend time with him. It broke the routine that we’ve been stuck in. And then there was the end of life. Max’s cousin was the first I’ve heard of.

The 2nd one has struck closer to home. My Parrain Herve died today. Parrain is french for Godfather. And although I didn’t know him as well as I know my marraine (Nininne) but I had fond memories of the days when I was just a little girl and he would come by. I knew him coming by meant a new tea set. He would buy these little tea sets for me that had a million pieces… but was always just enough for me and all my imaginary friends. The anticipation of his visit may have been based on the tea sets but I remember thinking that I wish he would visit as often as Nininne who usually never brought me anything… her company was the gift. Max reminds me a LOT of her. My brother confirmed it the other day. I thought I was the only one. It will be interesting to see them meet. So the mix of all these emotions has just left me kind of … emotionless. And with that… I guess I’ll go vegetate till I sleep.

*