Day’s over

Okay… today didn’t turn out half bad. I went to see that new movie I, Robot. Wasn’t half bad. Very Independance Day. But then again, it seems like most of what Will Smith does these days is along those lines. But it wasn’t bad.

I’m sitting here watching Amelie. Yet another one of life’s pleasures that I feel that no one will truly understand the way I do. I know Max and Sug like the movie quite a bit. But thefirst time I saw it, I was sitting here at this desk, on the verge of tears, feeling the dam that had been built by the drugs in the birth control pills I was taking starting to give way to the horrid sadness I was feeling for months. And for the first time in a very long time, contemplating not living. And this movie came on. And I don’t know if it was the lulling tones of true French being spoken, or the wonderfully optimistic nature of the movie itself, but after watching it, I felt completely rejuvenated and that maybe life wasn’t so bad. The only thing that saddened me was at the end when she’s riding on that bike with the love of her life and how alive they looked like they were feeling. I thought I’d never feel that again. But luckily… I have, and I do. Funny how life changes.

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Come Rain… or Come Shine

Come Rain… or Come Shine

Today was supposed to be Sugie’s Sendoff but has thusly been cancelled on the fear of rain. Which saddens me. If things are done in a park, you have to be ready, rain or shine. I had my raincoat and sneakers out and we were gonna do it up. But folks were pulling out. Sug’s mom wasn’t even coming. So we shut it down. It’s a shame cause the weather is decent now. It’s not PERFECT and sunny… but it’s not deplorable. You never know what the weather’s gonna do, so you have to be ready to live life… either way. Sing it Billie:

This morning was full of vivid, passionate dreams. Almost felt like some of them weren’t altogether dreams. One dream seems like Cary was in it. I remember just being engulfed with him. Arms wrapped around his back, hand on his neck and head. His head nuzzled in my neck. Legs entwined. But it was almost as if at certain times… he was actually there… and at others… I was enacting this all by myself and imagining him there in my dream. Really strange. That segment was quickly replaced with thoughts of my baby. Nice that my mind is getting better at this. I used to languish a bit too long on thoughts of the dangerous and impossible. But my sweetie was there in all his glory… and feeling quite randy. His skin is so soft… it’s soft in my dreams! He’s the best! His shoulders and chest are the best thing to ever happen to me… and other parts that I care not mention here. *tee hee*. Some how in the entirety of my dreaming… B2K was in there (in a performance capacity…) but I imagine it’s because I was looking through my old posts and saw their name there. Amazing what your brain brings to life when you’re sleeping. Then in one dream I got stuck out in New Jersey. Jury’s out if that was a nightmare or not. LMAO!!!!!

I guess I’m gonna figure out what this day holds for me.

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