I really met someone on Sunday who I knew for a while. Knew about, I should say. It’s amazing because I almost avoided him when I saw him approaching. Usually, he is a ball of undeniable, irrefutable energy. And usually? I’m tryin’ to stay calm and do my thing but the essence of his borderline “ignut” behavior always finds a way to creep into my space.
See… He’s a Que. Like… A QUUUUUEE!!! A-Roo ROO! Complete with humping people when he sees them, being loud and out there in the dead of silence and typically disturbing the peace with dog calls all day. Now, I have to say I haven’t known THAT many rambunctious Ques. And the last one of note goes by the name Mandingo whose his signature attire was a purple thong that he’d wear out with really nothing else on and hump and hop his way through whatever event he was attending. He was like… The Que mascot in the North East. Everyone knew Mandingo when I was growing up Greek. This particular brother of which I speak carried himself in much the same manner (minus the unnecessary nekkidness) which made me kind of want to steer clear. And I did usually. Which is odd for me because I tend to gravitate towards the quad club – but he always seemed a bit much to me.
Well, we had the NYCBGLO Family Reunion on Sunday and he rolled through. And I saw him greeting folks in his normal dog-like “marking my territory” style. But he seemed decidedly reserved beyond that. He was hanging with one of my sorors who I went over to chat with and he stayed with us in conversation. And you know what? Really cool guy!! We talked for a little over an hour and he was super cool, very funny and articulate, and all around nice. Silliest thing is that he found ME to be hilarious. “Earl must STAY laughin’ at home! You are too funny!” I was admittedly tickled by that but know that E probably spends his time laughing AT me, rather than with…. Which is fine – as long as he laughs.
But it made me think about the behaviors we might enact that may keep people at a certain distance from knowing someone wonderful. Granted the argument can be made that folks who truly want to know you will attempt to look beyond and I get that but for the sake of this post … It could be any air that you put on that really isn’t your personality — the super business person at work thinking it might gain people’s respect when you’re a genuinely warm and funny person; the overly sexual provocative type when all they’re looking for is love; super jokey person that you can’t get a straight answer out of cause they might be afraid of ur reaction to the truth…. There are a million deterrent behaviors out there. All the more encouragement for one to want to be themselves as much as possible.
I mean – whodda thunk Mandingo is an elementary school teacher… whoa.
Makes you think