For once this week… and maybe in a very long time… I’m really very happy. I’m at peace. I feel like dreams can be fulfilled… I am not angry at myself for allowing myself to feel some happiness. Today was my Bridal Shower and all I can say is wow. Isis has been telling me for a little while that “people love you, Victoria” – but I always poo poo it and keep it moving. I never want to get a swelled head or ever be like … yeah… I’m the shit. But if I wasn’t humbled by the idea of being loved outside of my blood family before today, then I definitely am now. I am in awe of these women. How they rallied together and had a good time with me and for me. I was brought to tears a few times today but mostly because of the Memories.
The bridal party (under the strict direction of Max and Isis) did a few keepsake games for us and one of them, was to put together these little cards each one with a 4×6 picture of me and whoever was writing the memory in it and that person’s “favorite memory” of me or with me. And reading through the various cards I was just in awe of the things folks remember. How they have a nuance on how you saw it. How they remember parts of it that you’d forgotten… And even how you thought maybe they didn’t remember it – or didn’t think it was worth remembering… but they really did. I just smiled as I read through them this evening, parked at my building after shuttling my family around.
I sang out loud as I drove tonight. And I didn’t care who heard.