Categories: celebrations, check in, esteem, family, love & marriage

Oh yeah… it’s Easter. It’s such a shame I put it that way. But that’s really how it was for me this morning. An after thought. I have to find out if I’ll ever be “religious” again. I’m tremendously spiritual, but not to the point where I feel obligated to spending 3 hours walking in circles around the church re-enacting the way of the cross. But I do miss the community connection though. I wonder how different that would be for me now that I’m so keen to the hypocrisy… It stops me from enjoying anything purely anymore. I always think folks are up to something *sigh* I have trust issues.

Speaking of those, I had a long talk with my baby tonight. We unearthed a lot of things I’d been keeping from him as far as my feelings about him and the upcoming wedding and just everything that was on my mind. I find it astounding how understanding and patient that man is. It’s absolutely amazing. I remember praying for that quality in my husband. One day I was waiting for a bus to get going to take me and my chapter to a regional conference out in Atlantic City. The bus was delayed for an hour and a half. One soror’s husband waited outside the bus in his car for the bus to depart. I happened to be sitting next to her. She said, when I asked why he was waiting, “He has the patience of Job… I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but I love him for it… because I’m not like him.” This couple had to be married for 40 some odd years. And I closed my eyes and prayed my addendum to the list… “That too God… cause I HATE waiting. But I’ll wait for him to be ready for me.” And here he is. Patiently waiting for me to grow the fuck up. LMAO! He’s a saint. Truly. What did i do to deserve this? Because I’m told over and over again, that I do deserve him. Maybe one day I’ll understand.

Today, for me, symbolizes me being able to drink again and not feel bad about it WOO HOO!!! Lent is OVA!!! I had an “alcoholic” beverage at dinner with my baby tonight, but it was so NOT. More like a milkshake. And that was the one I got AFTER I sent back the margarita that was so watery and yuck that I couldn’t believe. I’ll have to make some kind of retribution for that this week. Maybe tomorrow if money permits. I’ll go get a little lifted. I would have had a little Vanilia tonight, but there’s too much going on in the bottle. Spirits within. So I’ll let it be. I think I can go 41 days *wink*. Today also means my baby goes back to yogurt. I hope he doesn’t hurt himself. I can just see him diving into a vat of it! LMAO! Ahh… the repercussions, though… he’s not ready for them. I was just trying to help him anyways.

I marveled at my own body today. Just on some randomness… I was clearing off my bed… and I put my hands on my thighs and was just impressed with the thickness. I am the bomb 🙂 My cousin commented that I’m visibly losing weight now. That’s so good to know, but I don’t think he’s ever seen me in a baby tee and some short shorts… All my clothing is billowy and concealing. So, of course, I look thinner. But I’ll take the compliment anyhow.

1:22… and I’m STILL not done with this ding danged directory. I’m exhausted. I’ll go for a little longer and then I’ll cave in.


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